Dressing like Carrie: Day Five

AllyG: There has been some calls for “massive flowers” from the peanut gallery. Your wish is my command. L-A has also requested “more pearls”, as if I am a freaking debutante with a stash of precious jewels in my freezer.

I gave El Jeffe a break today and instead requested the assistance of my friend Melissa. As it is difficult to get out in public looking like a trollop with a baby, I only made it to the mailbox (to be fair, we live in the suburbs, so the mailbox is down the street) while Melissa kept an eye on BabyG. I should not lose points for that as walking around in this get-up in my neighbourhood is completely unheard of at 12pm on a Monday.

Inspiration:

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Do you likey my use of props? I was pouring Melissa a coffee! Yah. I really need to work on my posing. Here’s some shocking news, are you sitting down? I hate having my picture taken. No joke. Hates it. I am the most unphotogenic person in the world. Hence, the props and the kissy faces I make in almost all my photos. Perhaps I need to take a cue from MK and Ashley and start saying “prunes” before the flash.

• Shoes are BCBGirls from John David
• Dress…I have no idea…I bought it like ten years ago
• Flower from my mother, previously used in a springtime wreath (do I get bonus points if she’d be mortified that I used it for this purpose?)
• Pearls both mine and Melissa’s. Please note the pearl necklace used as a bracelet that is also wrapped around my finger a la Michael Jackson gloves.

Also, I attempted to make the front of my hair messy like SJP had for the Oscars. I don’t think it worked.

So there you have it. Now, what to wear for Day six? I think it’s time to pull out the do-rag.

I think I’ve decided on a throw-down for L-A. I would like to challenge her to a Heathers dare.

She will have to dress as one of the characters from Heathers for er…how many Heathers were there? Three. Fine then. Three whole days. I don’t know how the bitch gets three days and I get seven…oh wait, I volunteered for seven because I’m an over-eager idiot. Never again, people. NEVER AGAIN.

So, L-A, perhaps we can start with the blazer, button-up shirt fastened with a brooch look? Mmkay? Readers, fire away your requests.

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L-A: I’m going to be a good sport about this challenge. I’m going to do four days: three Heathers and a Veronica. And I’ll wear them to work.  Just give me a few days to pull my outfits together. Unlike Carrie, who pulls on a few layers, a black bra and and adds some pearls, and tada! an outfit! the Heathers are all about looking neat and tidy and matching their outfits to their croquet mallets. I need to sort through my clothes and pull that shit together. Heathers requires some planning. And maybe some coloured tights. And a Swatch. (also, we’ll wait for Ally’s challenge to end). I may downplay the 80s-ness of the Heathers, because I can’t look like it’s Halloween for four days at the office.

Now, let’s get back to Ally’s Day 5.  Kudos to you dear girl! The flower isn’t as big as Carrie’s and not quite as many pearls, but it’ll do.  (I never said they had to be real…I’d accept cheap mardi gras plastic beads. The girls at Cornell Phi Pi would hate the gross plastic shizz, but I think it is acceptable for the challenge).

Let’s score this Carrie shizz (I can’t believe I just used shizz in a sentence. That’s a first for me):

Using a necklace as a bracelet instead of as a necklace: +1

Cocktail dress and those shoes for a mid-day coffee date: +1

And half a bonus point for mortifying your mother by using the plastic flower as an accessory: +0.5

Maybe it’s the gin I had with dinner, but I’m hard pressed to find a reason to subtract points. So, I’m going to stop here and not go crazy with giving you points. Oh! wait! I did find a place to subtract:

No visible bra straps: -1

Day 5 score: +1.5

Total overall score: +9.5

Well golf claps lady, golf claps. You got all plus scores and no minus scores. Scratch that! I found a minus score. You can still have the golf claps.