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Dressing like Carrie: Day Five

March 16, 2010

AllyG: There has been some calls for “massive flowers” from the peanut gallery. Your wish is my command. L-A has also requested “more pearls”, as if I am a freaking debutante with a stash of precious jewels in my freezer.

I gave El Jeffe a break today and instead requested the assistance of my friend Melissa. As it is difficult to get out in public looking like a trollop with a baby, I only made it to the mailbox (to be fair, we live in the suburbs, so the mailbox is down the street) while Melissa kept an eye on BabyG. I should not lose points for that as walking around in this get-up in my neighbourhood is completely unheard of at 12pm on a Monday.




Do you likey my use of props? I was pouring Melissa a coffee! Yah. I really need to work on my posing. Here’s some shocking news, are you sitting down? I hate having my picture taken. No joke. Hates it. I am the most unphotogenic person in the world. Hence, the props and the kissy faces I make in almost all my photos. Perhaps I need to take a cue from MK and Ashley and start saying “prunes” before the flash.

  • Shoes are BCBGirls from John David
  • Dress…I have no idea…I bought it like ten years ago
  • Flower from my mother, previously used in a springtime wreath (do I get bonus points if she’d be mortified that I used it for this purpose?)
  • Pearls both mine and Melissa’s. Please note the pearl necklace used as a bracelet that is also wrapped around my finger a la Michael Jackson gloves.

Also, I attempted to make the front of my hair messy like SJP had for the Oscars. I don’t think it worked.

So there you have it. Now, what to wear for Day six? I think it’s time to pull out the do-rag.

I think I’ve decided on a throw-down for L-A. I would like to challenge her to a Heathers dare.

She will have to dress as one of the characters from Heathers for er…how many Heathers were there? Three. Fine then. Three whole days. I don’t know how the bitch gets three days and I get seven…oh wait, I volunteered for seven because I’m an over-eager idiot. Never again, people. NEVER AGAIN.

So, L-A, perhaps we can start with the blazer, button-up shirt fastened with a brooch look? Mmkay? Readers, fire away your requests.


L-A: I’m going to be a good sport about this challenge. I’m going to do four days: three Heathers and a Veronica. And I’ll wear them to work.  Just give me a few days to pull my outfits together. Unlike Carrie, who pulls on a few layers, a black bra and and adds some pearls, and tada! an outfit! the Heathers are all about looking neat and tidy and matching their outfits to their croquet mallets. I need to sort through my clothes and pull that shit together. Heathers requires some planning. And maybe some coloured tights. And a Swatch. (also, we’ll wait for Ally’s challenge to end). I may downplay the 80s-ness of the Heathers, because I can’t look like it’s Halloween for four days at the office.

Now, let’s get back to Ally’s Day 5.  Kudos to you dear girl! The flower isn’t as big as Carrie’s and not quite as many pearls, but it’ll do.  (I never said they had to be real…I’d accept cheap mardi gras plastic beads. The girls at Cornell Phi Pi would hate the gross plastic shizz, but I think it is acceptable for the challenge).

Let’s score this Carrie shizz (I can’t believe I just used shizz in a sentence. That’s a first for me):

Using a necklace as a bracelet instead of as a necklace: +1

Cocktail dress and those shoes for a mid-day coffee date: +1

And half a bonus point for mortifying your mother by using the plastic flower as an accessory: +0.5

Maybe it’s the gin I had with dinner, but I’m hard pressed to find a reason to subtract points. So, I’m going to stop here and not go crazy with giving you points. Oh! wait! I did find a place to subtract:

No visible bra straps: -1

Day 5 score: +1.5

Total overall score: +9.5

Well golf claps lady, golf claps. You got all plus scores and no minus scores. Scratch that! I found a minus score. You can still have the golf claps.

18 Comments leave one →
  1. Ivy permalink
    March 16, 2010 7:46 am

    Doing a great job, Ally! I think you should do this for a whole year and write a book and then be interviewed by George on The Hour. (

    • L-A permalink*
      March 16, 2010 8:55 am

      I completely agree. And I will ride her coat tails to fame (or at least to meeting Strombo. I don’t need fame, just a chance to meet Strombo…she can do Q alone).

    • allygarbs permalink*
      March 16, 2010 9:29 am

      Thanks, Ivy! Not sure if I could find enough trampy clothes in my closet to get that done. Perhaps if I found a corporate sponsor. I wonder if Miracle Whip is busy this week? They should have some time after the Gaga Telephone video.

  2. March 16, 2010 9:03 am


    I agree with Ivy. Make it a 365 project.

    Nice work:)


    • allygarbs permalink*
      March 16, 2010 9:30 am

      Thanks, Martin! You’re the official photographer today. Sorry in advance for embarassing you in public.

  3. Jane permalink
    March 16, 2010 9:33 am

    This is so fun – I love these posts!
    Three things
    – Allison – your feet are photogenic, they look amazing in those shoes. Esp. yesterday’s.
    – Your face is also photogenic. You look beautiful.
    – I feel I have a lot of carrie-esque stuff you could use – thigh high socks, and many strands of fake pearls. If you go for 365- I will hook you up!
    Thank you. These posts make coming inside to look at a computer on these super sunny days palpable.

    • allygarbs permalink*
      March 16, 2010 12:57 pm

      Thanks, Jane! Maybe I could be a foot model?

  4. Krista permalink
    March 16, 2010 9:53 am

    Terrific job!

    For L-A’s challenge, she should get one bonus point a day for every day she carries a croquet mallet with her.

    • L-A permalink*
      March 16, 2010 11:38 am

      If I can get my hands on a croquet set, then I will board the bus with a mallet in hand.

      • mitchellirons permalink
        March 17, 2010 2:35 pm

        neighbours up the road own a croquet set…

  5. Kim permalink
    March 16, 2010 11:23 am

    The Heathers challenge is hilarious! Can’t wait to see what she comes up with! Oh and I think the next Carrie outfit should definitely make use of a fanny-pack and something see-thru (Carrie was quite fond of see-thru numbers)

    • allygarbs permalink*
      March 16, 2010 12:29 pm

      Yah, I’m a mom now. While this challenge is fun, I draw the line at walking around in a see-thru outfit out of respect for myself, my husband and my child’s future political career.

      • L-A permalink*
        March 16, 2010 12:41 pm

        I cannot wait to see the issue of Frank magazine in 2045 or whenever BabyG decides to go into public office. I’m imagining a picture of grown up BabyG next to a pic of you from the blog and the headline: Mommy Dearest dresses like a tart.

        • allygarbs permalink*
          March 16, 2010 12:56 pm

          See? I have to draw the line somewhere.

  6. March 16, 2010 3:46 pm

    I am so super psyched about a Heathers challenge. I love that movie.

    Teenage suicide: don’t do it.

    I do so hope one of the outfits is Veronica post-explosion… maybe a weekend outfit?

    • L-A permalink*
      March 16, 2010 9:38 pm

      Heathers is one of my all time favourite movies, which is probably why I’m down with the challenge. I’ll look into Veronica post-explosion, but if it means burning my clothes, I’m not sure it’ll happen.

      • March 18, 2010 12:03 pm

        I don’t think burning would be necessary… maybe just rub a bunch of soot on yourself.

        Where does one find soot?

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