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What Fresh Hell: Culottes

February 19, 2015

L-A: So, as part of my day job, I’m often trolling the Facebook pages of major retailers. And I’ve noticed something that I can’t ignore: culottes.

McCalls Culottes

In case you’re not sure, the definition for modern ladies (these things apparently existed as far back as the French Revolution, but for dudes) is that it’s a split skirt. So you can look lady like while being active and doing things like gardening, bicycling and horseback riding. Which, when you think about it, makes it the tampon of ladies’ fashions. Which makes me wonder why we would ever want to bring these back?

Nancy Drews Culottes


A mystery that even TV Nancy Drew couldn’t solve.

I mean, I guess they’re better than a skort because they’re only sort of pretending to be a skirt. But honestly? Why you no wear a skirt instead?

Yet, here they are from Forever 21.



Like a sloppy tea length skirt, but with leg holes. Because we’re all dying to wear something as universally flattering as a tea-length skirt, cutting us off at the calves, but slightly more practical.

And here they are at TOPSHOP in Toronto:

TOPSHOP - culottes


Honestly I’m having trouble getting on board with this idea. If the Forever 21 model, who is literally paid to make clothes look good, can’t make it look like a sane choice, what hope do the rest of us have?

I am willing to admit that maybe the fast fashion version of the culotte is where the real trouble is. That there are wearable culottes that don’t immediately strike you as baggy, unflattering, short pants. I’ve seen street style photos and NYFW photos of culottes that almost make sense. Or maybe I’m just too old for this shit.

But culottes as a thing are not making sense to me at all. Hard pass on this spring trend.

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