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I Have Concerns: Kylie or Kendall Jenner

June 16, 2014
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L-A: To be honest, I’m not sure which Jenner is which (I’m still iffy on 75% of the Kardashians as well) and this is just one of the many signs I’m Of A Certain Age. Because I have concerns about this dress. Because you guys, WHERE ARE HER UNDERWEAR?

concerns about kendall jenner

 

Is she wearing any? If so, what kind of cut would they have to be? Are they somehow attached to a belt around her waist? And if she’s not wearing any, is she concerned of a major wardrobe malfunction? How much tape is involved? And does that tape hurt? Worth the pain I suppose, because that’s a lot of people to accidentally show your hoo-haw off to.  Also, if she is commando, is she cold? Because I feel like it wasn’t that warm in Toronto yesterday evening (at least it wasn’t that warm about two hours outside of Toronto).

Like I said, I have concerns. Not so much moral concerns (hey, if commando is your thing, then you do you. I’m not joining the commenters on CTV’s Facebook page who are wringing their hands and wondering where we went wrong with our youth. They probably blame the Kardashians, and in a rare moment, they are correct – this is 100% the fault of a Kardashian. Or like 50% Kardashian-ex/50% Jenner). No, my concerns are all logistical.

On the other hand, she has done the seemingly impossible: made the dress on the right look like a conservative prom dress from rural Utah (sorry to any readers from rural Utah who are into sequins and sexy, short dresses). The dress on the right is a totally a figure-skater inspired micro mini (even the nude shoes make me think of tan figure skates) and makes Jenner on the right look like she’s about to head into the long program to compete. But next to the Jenner who is Most Likely to Go Commando at an awards ceremony, I’m not even noticing that one of them is wearing Tara Lipinski’s old skating outfits. So that’s a win for at least one of the Jenners.

Finally, can we put the Angelina Jolie Red Carpet Leg to rest? There must be a better way to show off your shoes and all the lunges you’ve done at the gym. Maybe try a shorter dress if showing off your leg is a priority. 

(Having said all this, if I wasn’t so concerned for the logistics of it all, I probably would be on board with this dress existing. I currently need it to justify it’s existence).

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Friday Favourites: the May 30th edition

May 30, 2014
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L-A: It’s kind of hard to believe, but it’s almost been a year since I totally uprooted my life and moved half way across the country. That also means it’s almost been a year since Ally had baby numero 2. It’s been quite a year. Here’s hoping the next one involves more blog posts and less apologies from us. In the spirit of that, let’s talk things I’m loving this week, which is mostly movies. Because summer is all about the following for me: movies, mojitos (or drinks of that variety) and twizzlers. I really wish there was a way to alliterate that.

Movie Number 1: Because everyone in this is amazing

I’m not one for all-star casts, mostly because of those dumb giant ensemble movies (“Valentines Day” “New Years Eve” “Pancake Day…okay last one isn’t a movie, but should be. I may need to learn to write movies).  But this? This I believe I can get on board with. I mean, it stars just about everyone who is awesome, including Connie Britton’s hair.

Movie Number 2: Because you know what? I miss Rom-Coms.

What happened to Rom-Coms you guys? I loved them. I really did. I think that time they paired Katherine Heigl with Gerard Butler, they broke Rom-Coms. Not Heigls fault. Say what you will about her, but she can be delightful in a rom-com. But greasy Butler as a romantic lead? No. Just no. Then again, I probably would not have cast Daniel Radcliffe as a lead, especially when he looks sort of pale and sickly, but whatever. I will watch this and I will enjoy this.

https://screen.yahoo.com/trailer-153635050.html?format=embed&player_autoplay=false
I’m pretty sure she’s outfitted by Anthropologie and it totally pulls themes from the Greats (When Harry Met Sally). It’s not like we haven’t already explored the theme “can men and women just be friends” a million times, but you know what? Let’s explore it again! And let’s make more Rom-Coms while we’re at it! (Actually, this is what Mindy Kaling should be doing. I want to love her show, but it’s a total swing-and-a-miss for me, so now I want her to put her energies into a Rom-Com Renaissance).

Movie 3: Because Ugly Cry

It’s going to get messy and embarrassing. I ugly cried at the book and I never cry at books. I think I will have to go by myself and bring a box of tissues and sob.

 

Stay tuned for next week when I discuss the possibility of an asymmetrical hair cut (I don’t mean to alarm my hairdresser, but I’m thinking about this a lot lately).

 

p.s. you know what? I really, really love movie trailers. I may love them more than actual movies. Is this weird?

Currently Coveting: A Way to Save Bees

May 22, 2014
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L-A: So, fun fact about me: I’m seriously into bees. The whole bees disappearing thing actually causes me great concern.

disappearing bees doctor who

 

I mean, maybe they’re aliens leaving Earth, but probably not. And that’s kind of a bummer since bees do important stuff like pollinate. Which is why I’m delighted that my yard in the summer is bee central. I’m even planning a bee garden this summer (which means planting a bunch of flowers that bees might like in a disorganized fashion).

fpqt-bees

What up, bee friend!

And while it’s unlikely I’ll single-handedly save the bees from disappearing with a few flowers, I have found another way of saving them: jewellery!

Yes! That’s right! I can combine my love of over-accessorizing with my love of bees. Perfect, n’est pas?

The first step was last year’s purchase of a Jenny Bird bracelet, which has a standing invitation to the arm party.

la-APOTD

It’s super cute. (Also, off topic, I miss that red bracelet from Second Storey. I wore it until the clasp died from exhaustion).

And now I’ve found a new and equally lovely way to help save the bees. Meet the necklace I’m currently coveting:

SG - Birks

This one is a bit more of a splurge, but it’s going to happen this summer. Because as Wayne once said:

But seriously y’all. It’s adorable and Birks is ponying up cash (10%) to a honeybee foundation. I have no idea if this will help the bees, but I know I’ll feel better and I’ll have a super nice necklace. (It would probably mean more if I dropped close to $10k on a diamond honeycomb necklace, but let’s be real, a girl has got to pay the rent for the year).

Favourite Friday: May 9 Edition

May 9, 2014

Ally: Remember me? No? We’re totally sorry for the shortage of blog posts lately. I’d like to have an important excuse, like I’m training to be a cardiac surgeon, but the truth is I’m obsessed with Parenthood and am submerged in season three right now. This seems like a good way to kick off the Favourite Friday post.

Parenthood

El Jeffe and I have a tendency to get into shows well after they’ve begun. For example, we spent a good two months in the fall/early winter watching Breaking Bad. A few years ago, we did the same thing with Six Feet Under. It’s sort of nice, because you don’t have to wait to see what happens “next season”. It’s sort of awful because you’re so addicted you find yourself watching Parenthood instead of doing important things like, I don’t know, brushing my hair. If you are a fan of Parenthood, and I’m assuming a lot of you are, do not spoil it for me! I think I need a seperate post about Julia’s work attire and Kristina’s “tendrils”.

KristinaSource

And I know enough to know that some sad things happen to Kristina in the upcoming seasons, so I won’t talk about her hair too much, but seriously those “tendrils”. No.

#PostFail

When you think that we are ignoring the blog completely, sometimes we’re not. Sometimes we’re spending an embarrassing amount of time writing posts that are called, “You’re Bad in Bed Based on Your Music Videos: Pitbull Edition”. I think it’s important to share your failure from time-to-time, just so people know that you’re not this superior, genetic gift of God, living a life of splendour in the suburbs. I’m human too, guys! Behold, the worst post ever:

Ally: We haven’t had an honest to goodness pop culture snark post lately, and this makes me feel sad and like a failure. I thought about how I could change this, and in effect make the world a better place, last night at 3am and came up with a brand new theme for the blog: You’re Bad in Bed based on your Music Videos. I don’t know how I do it either, but I do.

First up to bat is Pitbull in the first video that has ever actually stopped me from downloading a crappy pop song.

 

https://i0.wp.com/24.media.tumblr.com/6bde483e5ae7987c71287057debca1b7/tumblr_n3brcyykfg1rpgfoho1_500.gif

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….and this is where I ran out of steam….and Pitbull gifs. Be thankful for life’s small gifts. I don’t think this theme would have lived very long, or brought us any blogging awards. I could be wrong. I was planning a seperate post on Justin Timberlake’s videos, but after that…who would we have? Enrique? Hmm…maybe there is something to this…

Rihanna

I go back and forth on Rihanna, as many of you long-time readers are aware. Right now I can’t get enough of her, and her unique ability to tell Instagram to fuck right off. I’m also making her MET Gala ensemble my new desktop background photo.

Rihanna-Met-Gala-2014Source

Rihanna also deserves some attention on our blog in the coming weeks. I wish I could take a time machine back to my twenties and do them over again a la Rihanna (the millions of dollars helps her confidence, but still).

Crappy Pop Video of the Week

There are a lot to choose from these days. Lots! This one is getting some love on my iShuffle this week, so I needed to share.

Be honest. You missed me.

Monday Shoe Porn: The April 25th of Shoes

April 28, 2014
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L-A: I’m not sure what happened, but on my most recent visit to California, I bought only two pairs of shoes. It’s like I’ve suffered blunt force trauma before shopping. Or was a practical grown up who remembered she hasn’t properly unpacked the other 40 pairs she owns after last year’s move. I used to come back with at least five pairs. The pair I did buy are adorable enough to resurrect Monday Shoe Porn.

fpqt-katespade-keds

Meet my outrageously cute Kate Spade Keds that I picked up on sale on Friday. Pretty much the perfect sunny day spring shoe. Which makes sense. I did buy them on the perfect date.

They are the April 25th of kicks. Perfect for days when you need a light jacket and want to go sock free (anyone else pumped to be free of socks?). I had originally picked up a pair of Taylor Swift for Keds that had striped ribbon laces, but thought these were even cuter (and I remembered that I’m not a 15 year old girl).

*(Please ignore my fat ankles in the photo – I’m not sure if that was the angle of the picture or because I took the picture after getting only an hour’s sleep on my overnight flight from LAX thanks to the lady in front of me who puked in her sleep after starting the flight with rye and soda. But that’s a story for a different blog).

Monday Pick me up

April 14, 2014

Ally: I’m slow out of the gates this morning. Busy weekend, and not enjoying the lack of sun outside my windows. If you’re like me, and need something to help you cheer up. Follow me to this video, a dedication to the movie Clueless by one of FPQT’s faves, Iggy Azalea.

Right? RIGHT?

Favourite Friday – April 4 Edition

April 4, 2014

Ally: Happy Friday, everyone! The sun is peeking out in Halifax today, which makes it look as though maybe, just maybe, we might see spring after all.

The Parlour

This winter has been impossible. And endless. I’ve sunken into the suburbs more than ever. With two kids, and a home office, it’s tough to travel into The Big City of Halifax for personal grooming appointments, which means I’ve had to find a hairstylist closer to home so that I could get my hair done and be back with the baby or at my desk within two hours. I know all my fellow parents out there understand this conundrum. Luckily, someone pointed me in the direction of The Parlour, which has been around for a while now but last year opened up new space off of Larry Uteck. I saw Jenna on Tuesday night for some foils, and am super happy with the results. They’re a small team of three, and they offer a wide range of services. It’s not the cheapest place, but since hair is sort of important to me, I don’t mind the investment.

Super beautiful inside.

Super beautiful inside.

Also, Jenna gave me a blow out that has lasted perfectly for two days. I may never wash my hair again.

 

Excuse the under-eye circles. Sleep doesn't live here no more.

Excuse the under-eye circles. Sleep doesn’t live here no more.

Speaking of under-eye circles, Jenna told me about an under eye cream I’m determined to secure. I’ve tried EVERYTHING under the sun to combat the dark circles that I have even when I am well-rested (which last happened in 2008 one day in August). Apparently, Armani makes a great product that you can buy at Holt Renfrew. Toronto and Montreal people, hook a friend up.

Miracle in a bottle?

Miracle in a bottle?

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Actually Decent Pop Song that I have to Share

Now that I am back at work (in my home office in the basement while my husband is on two month parental leave with our baby), I’ve been able to spend more time listening to crappy pop music on my laptop. You’ll be pleased to know the song I am sharing today is not crappy at all. Have you heard of JRDN? Real name is Jordan and I went to the adjacent high school as him. All of my friends took turns having a crush on him and I’m pleased to say that we “talked” on the phone once. He’s a super talented man, and he represents Halifax proudly. This single is some serious R&B.

Have a great weekend!