L-A: I’ve mentioned before how I’ve almost fell victim to the siren song of the TOMS.
Everyone I know seems to have a pair. They sing their praises. So comfortable! The only shoe they need for summer!
And quite frankly, I’m starting to believe it.
Except for one thing.
They’re kind of a funny looking shoe. And I think we can all agree on that.
That isn’t to say they aren’t comfy or magnificent. They’re just funny looking. And I’m scared to buy a shoe that will end up being a shoe I lend to Anthony when he needs to dress up as Whoopie Goldberg for Halloween. Because guess what you guys? That is what happened to my Crocs. Everyone I knew, even the most stylish (who I won’t name here, but y’all know who you are), owned Crocs. They told me they were the Most. Comfortable. Shoe. Ever. So when my mom had a spare pair, I gave in. And I felt like a fucking tool. I wore them as a rainboot substitute for one summer (I didn’t own boots and I didn’t want to ruin my non-molded plastic shoes) and then they existed only to clutter my closet after that.
I think it’s a case of once bitten, twice shy. If I jump on the funny looking, but immensely comfy shoe bandwagon, will I regret it instantly?
Even if I do give in (and let’s be honest, it’s likely to happen…if I hadn’t just dropped $200 at Biscuit and Pretty Things this past weekend, it’d be Really Likely), I’ll still remain highly skeptical of the following:
What? Glitter? Really?
Y’all know I love a good glitter shoe, but this is too much for me. Maybe I need to see it in action, but on the shelf, a gold glitter TOMS shoe does nothing but make me hate this shoe company.
Apparently the glitter TOMS are a part of the wedding collection. Yes. That’s right. Wedding.
Brides of the world: why? Why would you change into a plain, canvas shoe? Is it the new flip flop? Why not just buy a shoe you can wear? That’s what I did. My shoes were cute AND I wore them all night. Or maybe a pretty flat? You’re a bride! You’re looking super pretty! So why not wear a pretty shoe? (If you wore flip flops or TOMS at your wedding, I sort of apologize. I’m sure you still looked pretty. Friends of mine have done it and still looked like pretty princesses. I just prefer wearing a pretty shoe with my pretty dress on the one day that EVERYONE has to call you pretty).
The one pair of TOMS I don’t question are the wedges.
They are straight up adorable and if you own a pair, I’m probably jealous. Every time I’ve tried to buy a pair, they weren’t in my size. (Actually, that’s happened with even the flat, regular TOMS. Perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something?)
Anyway, let’s have a poll. Maybe it’ll help influence my decision (after I get paid. I need to take a brief spending break).
L-A: Well, sad business gives us the bonus Monday post. I was flicking through the twitter and saw that Annabelle didn’t want people to be mean about Amy Winehouse. This confused me. A lot. Not that Ann wouldn’t want people to be nice about Amy Winehouse. But I couldn’t figure out why she’d be declaring this on the twitter.
You see, I’d been off shopping up a storm, getting deals and dresses with birds on them, and totally missed the news. I just thought Ann was being particularly sensitive about Amy Winehouse for shits and giggles. But nope. Amy Winehouse was dead. Seriously sad business.
Oh sure. Amy Winehouse was a mess. She was a total fucking mess most of the time. But she could also sing like nobody’s business. I still remember hearing her music for the first time and thinking, “mother of pearl! This is from our time?”
Also she had serious swag.
I had for reals hair and eyeliner envy of Amy Winehouse. I am all about the volume and the backcomb. I have seriously contemplated the bumpit. As a former classmate of mine once said: the higher the hair, the closer to god. And no one got the bouffant as high as Amy Winehouse. As for the eyeliner, I pretty much envy anyone who can put it on straight. If you can get it to swoop off to the side all retroishly, then you’re pretty much my hero.
When she wasn’t her messiest, I totally declare her to be a bona fide style icon. For a long time, I’ve wanted to dress up as her for Halloween. Not messy Amy Winehouse. But killer swag Amy Winehouse. It would have been my moment to have some seriously sweet eyeliner, hair as close to god as I could get it and attempt to dress like a woman who just didn’t give a fuck what you thought of her.
But she was messy. And that in itself was sad. Sadder still, she was made to be the punchline of a joke because of an addiction. And now we’ll talk up a storm about her being 27 like all the other dead 27 year old singers. Who, quite frankly, all seemed much older than 27. I mean, if you had asked me a week ago how old Amy Winehouse was, I’d have said my age or older. But nope. Only late twenties. This probably says something in itself.
I don’t often get verklempt over dead celebrities. I mean, I don’t know them from Adam, so why should I get worked up? Off the top of my head, the list of dead celebrities that have made me feel kind of sad is short: Phil Hartman, Lenny Briscoe (I mean, Jerry Orbach), Alexander McQueen and Brittany Murphy. And now we’ll add Amy Winehouse to that list.(Liz Taylor, less so…but life seemed like it wasn’t being kind to Liz at the end. And funny enough, she also seemed older than she really was. She seemed like she was now 102 instead of 79).
Anyway, like I said. Sad business. One which acutally drives me to say something I never thought I’d ever say: I agree with Russell Brand. We do need to think differently about how we treat addicts. Not as criminals. Not as jokes. But as folks who are really seriously ill. (although, well done to my Twitter feed and Facebook friends – not one was at all mean about Amy Winehouse).
I’ve actually been listening to Valerie since hearing the news. A little bit because it mixes Pretend Boyfriend #1 with Amy Winehouse. But also because it might be one of my favourite songs she’s ever sang (hard to choose, but there you have it).
You know you wish, even just a little bit, you could rock a cropped cardigan like that and dance on stage with Mark Ronson. (it’s not just me?)
p.s. Okay world, leaving booze outside her house isn’t exactly a fitting tribute. Just saying.
L-A: We never have enough shoe porn to make every Monday a shoe porn Monday. I guess that makes the Mondays we do have a little bit special. Anyway, it seems that after a submission to shoe porn, the submitee does not stop buying shoes. Lord knows I haven’t. (I really should update with my more recent acquisitions). So we were happy to get the updates to Sarah’s collection.
Sarah: So it has been a little over a year since the first time my shoes were featured on Shoe Porn Monday. And there has been some changes to my shoe closet. More were donated (if you were at the Dress for Success fundraiser at Palookas awhile back, you may be wearing some of my shoes now!) and the rest found a new home with my “Mr. Big.” He gave me a whole tinyHalifaxapartmentsized closet to myself. As lovely as it is, when we were just dating, I am sure that my shoe habit was mildly amusing. Maybe even part of my quirkiness in his eyes. But since the move-in that smile has faded and been replaced with swear words in the middle of the night as he trips over, what he now can track, another pair of new shoes.
Maybe this new domestication (or lack of personal storage space) did make me slow down my shoe buying over the past year. (Maybe also because someone wants me to, whats the word, where you don’t spend because there is some money left over after the bills are paid….right, S-A-V-E, for a house).
I feel the other thing that changed is I became a little more practical in my shoe buying. True story, some of my new shoes are flats…not that I took pictures of them to post, or wear them often….I digress, to the shoes!
While that is all the shoes that I had time to take pictures of, can I suggest a not-safe-for-work, nor an actual video, for the post?
Coco and Ice-T are the latest humans to be turned into reality TV stars thanks to the E! channel. And when you have your own TV show, access to a lot of money and time on your hands what are you to do? buy glitter ponies AND record a ridiculous song:
LA: A few thoughts for Sarah: gold glitter shoes? (yes, I understand the need for glitter shoes in your life) So far, I’ve determined that the glitter shoe works well with jeans and a solid coloured top or with a black dress. I thought Dr. Scholl’s might have the answer to your sling back dilemma, but apparently not. I’ll leave that up to the readers. Someone must know how to deal with a pesky sling back.
And now, the bonus pair from Monique! These sandals from a Nine West outlet bring serious joy to her life. I can understand that. I’m pretty sure Ally is looking at them on her iPhone right now and dying a little bit because those sandals aren’t in her life right now.
Ally: I am breaking into Monique’s home and stealing those. You heard it here first…oh…wait.
Ally: It’s Friday? Wow. That must be why I feel like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck. This vacation couldn’t come at a better time. Just a reminder that there’ll be some guest bloggers helping out over the next two weeks while I marinate in boxed wine and revisit the world of fashion. Let’s face it, my posts lately have been less than inspired. I barely have time to brush my hair these days. Barely meaning I do it like, three times a week.
I did have time this evening to catch up on celebrity gossip. The best way to unwind. Some of the news I reviewed was days old. But it pleased me. It pleased me good. First up? The rumour that Leo might have given Blake her walking papers.
The best part (and I know I’m being a cold hearted bitch) is that Leo dumped her because his mom wasn’t into the plastic shizz that is Leggy McMumbles (or whatever L-A calls The Lively). You know who she did like? Bar Raefaeli. Just sayin’
While I wish no one any unhappiness (that’s not true…I wish Lindsay Lohan unhappiness – see next item), I have to say that I need this break up to be real for my own Pretend Boyfriend sanity. The joke that was Eminem replacing Leo has become a bit too true. He’s the Coyote Ugly of boyfriends. You know? Defined by the classic movie of the same name? The kind of guy that when you wake up, look over at who’s next to you and realize that you want to chew your arm off coyote style to get him off your shoulder? That type of Pretend Boyfriend. I will say this, I have no idea how the following video didn’t go “viral” or whatever the young people are calling it these days.
Swooooooooon. See? I need Leo back. It was much safer territory. He never rapped about lighting the house on fire while his lady friend was still sleeping in the bed.
Next up, Lindsay Lohan. Everyone’s talking about her Groundhog Day like trips to Court. I’m talking about her Groundhog Day like trips down shitty-bad-fashion-lane.
As I mentioned earlier this week, I was slowly wading back into maxi dress territory. Lohan just threw a grenade on that progress. Those shoes? Am I a senior citizen or is that not just plain old school ugly? Apparently, Lohan can’t afford her court ordered psychological assessment. Fine, I hear that. Chick has been broke since Mean Girls, but how much does a bra run at Walmart? $10 in the clearance bin? Perhaps we can pool our funds and send one along.
Let’s go right to the Crappy Pop Video of the Week, shall we? This was has been getting serious air time at Allison Garber Communications. Meaning, I’m playing it lots on my laptop.
L-A: Hey Friday! I thought you were happening yesterday morning, but it turned out it was only Thursday. A bit of let down really. But whatevs, you’re here now and that’s all that matters. Let’s talk favourites.
1. hair did: I was in desperate need of a cut. Like, shock the hairdresser how long it had gotten. But it is cut now and I feel so much cuter. And as always, mad props to Krista at Fred. If she ever gives up the hairdressing game, I will be LOST.
2. I did it. I joined Weight Watchers. And I was not a little bit shocked at how many points I wasted on eating Werther’s (but they are so tasty!). Operation: Fit Back Into Your Favourite Work Pants is ON (I mean, fuck pounds. I don’t care about those as much as I do about the Michael Kors and Banana Republic pants in my closet. They fit before, they’ll fit again).
3. Summer of Murray.
Well played, Atlantic Film Festival. Well played. He’ll never be a pretend boyfriend, but I do love Ghostbusters (first stop on my first trip to NYC? The Public Library). And Groundhog Day would be one of my top ten movies if it didn’t star Andie MacDowell (and that is a post for next week).
4. Beyond the Rack.
When Ally sent me the email with the subject COOKIE JEANS! I hmmed and hawed and then said to myself: You love those jeans. You almost literally wore them out. You cannot afford to spend $175 on them again, but you can afford $29.99 plus shipping and taxes.
And I was right. I could and I did and hot damn! I’m excited for those jeans to arrive (if I hadn’t just bought an Arcade Fire ticket off a friend, I might have bought a second pair). They are LITERALLY the best jeans I have ever owned in my entire 33 years. They looked good and they were crazy comfortable. They even kick the ass of the white jeans with a blue pinstripe that I got from Thrifty’s in grade six. And let me tell you, I thought those were seriously stylin’ jeans back in the day.
I can only hope they do this again and I get another COOKIE JEANS email from Ally.
Forget Christmas, this is Boxing Day in July. 50% off everything, one day only. And for you size 10 ladies in Halifax: please, try to leave a few pairs of shoes for me. I’m hoping to help out the work wardrobe on Saturday or maybe even find a dress to wear to fall weddings.
5. Okay, he’s kind of a Baldwin.
Last week I was thinking about it, but despite the sometimes questionable facial hair, I’ve decided to bump Grey Damon/Hastings Ruckle/Brian up to full Pretend Boyfriend status. This week’s episode where he’s all, “I love you girl who is secretly part cat and I can’t be Just A Friend” and then she breaks his heart because kissing him would kill him (I mentioned the plot is a wee bit ludicrous, right?). The swoon, boys and girls! The swoon of it all! You can kind of pin point the second where his character’s heart rips in half. (warning: the last three links are videos. I couldn’t help myself. I’m on a serious YouTube kick this week).
Is it weird that I’ve been admiring my eyelashes all week? Because if I don’t, no one else will. It’s not like anyone ever complements you on great lashes.
7. The other blog I write for is hiring! Yes, if you think you’re funny and you like watching TV as much as I do and you want to write alongside the likes of Jill and Anthony and I, then maybe you want to talk to Jen at YKYLF.
8. Pet Sounds. Particularly this song, on repeat.
I have Mel to thank for that.
And on a final note, but not a favourite because this is a more serious item. A friend asked if we could share with you a link to Unicef and we’re happy to do so, because shit just got real over there. Like, possibly worse than the famine I remember happening in Ethiopia when I was a kid. So if you can donate, that’d be awesome. If you can’t, pass the word on to friends and family.
Ally: Many of you may have read the title of this blog and dived under your desk in fear. I’m sad to say that it is true. I am indeed on the hunt for a mom appropriate bathing suit. I remember Official Intern Eden once declaring (I think it was on Facebook) that we would have to tear her bikini from her cold, dead hands. Word, Eden. Word. Sadly, I just can’t swim with a toddler or navigate him through the wading pool while wearing a two-piece. The danger of a wardrobe malfunction is at red alert territory. So, what’s a girl to do?
I have one go-to swimsuit. It’s black, cute and does the trick. Nothing fancy. I think I got it at Winners. However, for my two-week vacation (starting Monday!) I will need back-up swimsuits. Here are some thoughts:
I love the colour, and love the halter. I could do this. I could. I really could.
Apparently this is a Herve Leger swimsuit. It will cost you around $200. Interesting. Alternatively, for the same price and look you could buy yourself a six pack of Bud Light and set yourself up in a second-hand trailer. So, no on this one.
I’ve always loved the idea of a strapless one-piece swimsuit…
However, not toddler friendly. Unless I use industrial strength glue. Is that waterproof?
Then there is the tankini…
I don’t know, folks. Is the tankini the equivalent of waving the “I’m too effing old to wear a bikini but I swear I’ll go down swinging” bathing suit?
So, some evening this week I will be heading to find a back-up swimsuit. I’ll keep you in the loop as to what is out there. Open to suggestions. Seriously. Help me.
L-A: I haven’t even thought about swimsuits this summer. Not because of the weather (although that doesn’t help) or because my best beach friend moved this spring, but because I don’t even want to know the status of how my bathing suits are fitting me. I’m assuming it’s not good. For that reason, I’m glad the weather is lousy and I have no plans for the beach. You see, school was good to me because I did well and got my diploma and got a job, but my eight months of stress eating and no activity? Not so good. It’s my grown up version of the g.d. freshman fifteen. I packed back on some serious pounds. And instead of thinking about a new bathing suit – because I don’t even want to go to that change room – I’m thinking about Weight Watchers.
But because I love Ally and she wants to spend the next two weeks poolside, I will think about bathing suits that are cute and won’t lead to wardrobe malfunctions. She can go back to her beloved two piece when munchkin is no longer a toddler.
If I were looking for one that covered the goods and couldn’t be torn off by small children, I’d probably start here:
It looks like it’d keep everything in place while you still look cute. And, bonus, Pretty Things sells one just like this (the above suit was found at ModCloth) which means buying locally (win!) and you get the chance to try it on. Because quite frankly? Buying a bathing suit online scares the beejeezus out of me. How do you know it fits? I mean, what the hell does S M L XL really mean anyway??
In the same vein, another halter neck suit that has a bit of the retro cut to it:
Do any of you own suits with this kind of cut? I like them, but I fear that coming down that far onto my thighs would put me in the running for most unflattering fashion choice on the beach (I’ll always lose that contest to The Dude Who Should Never Take His Shirt Off In Public and The Lady Who Doesn’t Realize And/Or Care Her Swimsuit Is Three Sizes Too Small).
If retroish cuts aren’t your bag and you’re not looking to your Nana when she was your age as a fashion icon (although, that’s not necessarily a bad idea. Your Nana might have had some serious swag), there’s this overpriced Marc Jacobs number:
Love the rainbowness, iffy on the belt/sash, dead set against a $220 bathing suit. I have trouble dipping $220 worth of Nylon into chlorine. Or sea water. And definitely not lake water.
Or, if the halter is appealing, but the bottom of those suits weren’t, I totally dug this one (which is in a colour Ally likes):
I feel like the halter is pretty secure, but this one gives you a bit of cleavage so you don’t feel like you’re completely covering up all the goods. I mean, if you have to give up your bikini for a one piece, you still want to look damn cute and totally un-nun-at-the-beach.
Although, if you were going for that look, there is a Nun’s Surf Invitational. Just saying.
I’m also going to recommend against Annette’s choice of swimwear:
Honestly, Annette? You would have been so much cuter in a two piece. And if its the fisherman that has you worried, the chances of him hooking your top too is pretty unlikely. Dude got a rare score on the one he did hook. About as likely as this dude scoring a goal.
Ally: Hello, friends! Sorry I’ve been absent on the blog-front for the past week. Had a large work week and then worked from my parents’ place in Digby County for the weekend. Was nice to sip on some cold white goodness and relax a bit.
To be honest, had I have posted last week you would have gotten a whole lot of crap. I haven’t been up on the fashion file in weeks due to packed days at work. So, being able to kick back with my favourite fashion magazines this past week brought some much needed inspiration.
I’ve always loved the idea of a maxi dress, but they bring terrifying memories of Pregnant Summer 2009. This one is so romantic and beautiful. Not sure where I would pull it off in the bustling streets of Bedford, but I’m sure I’d find a way.
I’m also really into the new t-shirt line from The Row.
If I had millions of dollars, I certainly would purchase one of these tees to don while eating bon bons and sipping mimosas. Cause that’s what I figure rich people do on a Tuesday. You know, in their t-shirts.
It would be a summer post, and I wouldn’t be me, if I didn’t mention that Big Brother is back on TV. Yes, the show you love to hate (or the show you don’t watch because you actually have a life). I’m obsessed. I’ve been a dedicated watcher since the first season when I was living in Jasper, AB. Can I just say that I’m actually backing Rachel thus far into the season? For those of you who care.
I KNOW, right? Is that a mesh yellow bra? Let’s hope so! She’s a train wreck and I love her.
I’ll be back for Wednesday and Friday’s post, then heading out for two weeks of vacation/working vacation back down in Digby County. Expect a Frenchy’s Post when I return. We’ll be looking for guest bloggers while I’m gone if anyone is interested. Specifically interested in someone who can carry the trashtastic aspect of the blog as L-A has far too much klass for the crappy pop videos of the week. Speaking of, I know I left you hanging on Friday, so here’s one to start off your Monday. You missed me, right?
L-A: I’m not sure I’m all that klassy, but I certainly don’t have the skillz to find such craptastic videos. I mean, is she swimming in Pepto Bismol? And more importantly, why? I have seen friends try to gag down the pepto and it is not pretty. You do not want to swim in that stuff, even if it is for a music video. (I’m so bothered by the pool of pepto that I’m ignoring the fact that she dances with her shorts undone).
I recently tried on some florals…this is a big deal since the nautical stripes may or may not be getting out of hand. I’m still not convinced floral patterns are for me, but I am willing to be convinced with the right top. A floral dress would be too much to start with. Except this. I’m pretty sure I could do this in a heartbeat:
Part of my problem with florals is the nautical thing – I just end up with a change room full of stripes. I think if I do manage a floral, it’s going to have to be the bigger, bolder variety. For some reason, they strike me as less scary than a smaller floral print. Possibly I’m just weird about prints.
L-A: Ally’s busy trying to avoid another bout of the plague and keep up with her work load. I’m not actually sure how she’s doing this, but she is. I think in her spare time she also turns water into wine. (oh man, can you imagine if she actually could do that? Best. Party trick. Ever). Anyway, that means no Ally until next week. So you’re stuck with only my lame favourites this week. And they are a little lame as I’m only just shaking that damn cold and trying to catch up at work.
So, the favourites:
1. Monte Carlo
Okay, so, I’m not entirely serious. The movie totalement blew chunks. But I did enjoy seeing in in an empty theatre will Jill. Snarking on a movie is so much more fun when no one is there to shush you. And then I got to review it with Anthony. And let’s face it, reviewing a movie about teenagers and mistaken identity is totally up our alley.
2. Friday Night Lights was nominated for Emmys! Finally!
I guess you need your show to go off the air before it gets the respect it deserves. I’m giving myself some space before I re-watch the series finale. Poor husband saw me minutes after finishing it and I walked out and said, “that. was such a good show.” And then started crying again. Meanwhile, I still don’t know the rules to football nor have I ever watched more than 10 minutes of any game on television. But it makes for a damn fine narrative device. Hopefully an award winning one.
3. Possible New Pretend Boyfriend:
Speaking of FNL, this guy’s character was barely used in Season Five, so he really couldn’t make Pretend Boyfriend status. But lately, as I am enjoying a ridiculous new series far more than any 30+ year old woman should (whatever, the demographic is still 18-35), this guy is providing serious eye candy in the show. I won’t say his acting is bringing the show’s calibre up any, but I’m not sure anything can be done when we’re talking about a show that’s plot revolves around a girl learning she’s part of a secret race of cat-people when she turns 16. (then again, who would have thought a show about a vampire slaying cheerleader would do so much? Not saying they compare or anything…but I feel like they both come from the same ridiculous place).
4. I am still thinking about TOMS
I don’t know. I just don’t know about these shoes. There was a time when I’d say they were the new Croc, but the fad isn’t going away. I’ve been thinking about the silly things all week and I’m about ready to jump on this bandwagon. Which means I’m probably going to talk about it for at least another two weeks and by then summer will be over.
5. Best Description of Taylor Momsen. Or anybody. Ever.
Eyeliner aficionado and pants adversary.
Okay, so I enjoy the hyperbole. But it is a damn fine lead to a story about Taylor Momsen. I can only dream of turning a phrase like that one someday. Or, including it on my resumé. The trouble is, I can’t put eyeliner on and I seem to like wearing pants.
6. Crappy music video of the week
This ended up on a playlist I downloaded recently, possibly from Nylon or one of those free Starbucks downloads. It’s been stuck in my head since yesterday. It’s okay if you hate me for it. Depending on how you look at it, this is a step up from Hall & Oates.
It’s stuck in my head. I’m not apologizing if I spread the ear worm.