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Emmys 2013: The good, the bad, the boring

September 23, 2013

L-A: While the Emmys themselves were a giant bag of awful (I quit not long after the bedazzled Elton John tribute to Liberace in order to watch a 2009 series starring Rupert Penry-Jones), the red carpet was a marked improvement over previous years. It wasn’t every lady in shades of beige or red. So let’s jump on in:

The Good

There was actual good! It felt like celebs finally decided to bring the dress porn to the carpet again.

Lady Mary/Michelle Dockery


Well, played. At least from the back. I like the colours, I like that it’s not all same-same as we’ve seen in previous years, I like the big bow at the back of the neck. Basically, I just like Lady Mary.

Kiernan Shipka


Usually my response to this kid is, “what’s the big effing deal?” Mostly because I hate almost every moment Sally Draper is on my TV screen that I associate the poor actress with those feelings at all times. But when I saw a picture of this dress, my immediate thoughts were: bravo! age appropriate! super cute! (in hindsight, I wonder if you could put a belt with it?)

Mindy Kaling


I love her, I love her style and I want to love her show (but I just can’t). My love extends to this dress. She looks fantastic and as a girl who is very big on sleeves, I really appreciate the sleeves on this number.

The Bad

Let’s face it, we can’t love every dress and that’s part of what we love about the red carpet. Unless of course you’re Kelly and Ross on E! and then you think every single goddamn dress is fabulous and fantastic and the best thing to ever happen to fabric.

Zosia Mamet


This dress is a total, “thanks for playing, try again next year!” sort of deal. I like the print. I like the fit. I like the skirt. But I’m horribly confused by her leather boobs and the white bib attached to them.

January Jones


On the upside, she wasn’t trying so hard to show us she isn’t Betty Draper. On the downside, she wore Betty Draper’s curtains as a skirt. The dusty rose is the worst.

Claire Danes


Maybe it’d be nice if it wasn’t falling off her? I figure if you can name drop a designer, you can afford to have that shit tailored to fit your teeny frame. But big ups on the faux bob. She looks amazing from the neck up.

The I Guess It Photographs Well

Some dresses just look better when they’re not moving.

Kerry Washington


Maybe she was tardy to the party and that’s why we didn’t see her have awkward conversations with Giuliana or Ryan Seacrest. Maybe she really hates the 360 dress cam and the mani-cam as much as I do. These are some of the reasons I’m guessing explain why we didn’t see much of her dress on TV last night. So while it looks great here, I’m suspicious. Because I saw feathers on her boobs in the brief moment I did see her on the red carpet.

The Giant Bag of Crazy

Melissa Leo

I can’t find an image yet, but Melissa Leo wins an award for what she wore to present. Stop the presses! I have found it!


I first spotted it on TV when she was a presenter. I looked up briefly from my phone to see a bedazzled boy scout scarf next to bedazzled pins. And as I tried to make sense of it, I was blinded by shiny pants (they were very shiny under the lights) and baffled by the tuxedo jacket over a vest over a sheer blouse. A giant bag of crazy.

Julianne Hough

I’m still processing this one.

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Granny panties + sheer curtains + an ill-fitting top? Way to try something different. I guess.

The Boring

Less dresses fall under this category this year, but some people forgot to have fun with their dresses or do something that would either elicit love or hate from us. Because while the awards are all about celebrating themselves, I think celebs need to remember they are dressing up for our amusement these days. Wear what you want the rest of the year. Amuse me when you’re on the red carpet.

Sofia Vergara

Because she wore exactly what you expected and it meant NPH could make jokes about her boobs. Yay?

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Zoey Deschanel

It’s pretty enough, but it’s just kind of meh.


Okay, those are my picks for this year. I probably could have found things to say about all the dresses, but that would take all day. So, who did I miss? Any big loves/hates for you?

10 Comments leave one →
  1. September 23, 2013 11:59 am

    I’m curious on your thoughts about Lena Dunham’s dress. I liked a lot about it, but when I finally saw the full gown I was less sure. I’m still on the fence. I feel like she’s come really close on some red carpets, but never quite got it right. This dress seemed much more her style than the others, and I like that about it. But it still wasn’t quite right I don’t think.

    She and I have a very similar body type, so I have mad respect for her attempt. I know just how hard it can be to make a dress look good proportionally without adding layers up top. I love dresses, but I rarely wear them without a cardigan or blazer or something. So gowns would be whole new level of hell for me.

    • la permalink*
      September 23, 2013 12:12 pm

      I actually wasn’t sure what to say about her dress. I definitely didn’t hate it, but it didn’t look super fantastic on her either. I do think it’s a body type issue and that no one really makes gowns to fit girls who aren’t of a certain size/shape. I don’t even know what I’d do if I actually had to find a gown to wear on a red carpet (because that’s totally going to happen some day. Hollywood can give me a call any time to write on an award winning TV show. I bet I’d be good at it).

      I totally respect her going balls to the walls with her gown and I dug the pattern. I just wish the top fit a bit better. It seemed a bit loose and her boobs weren’t helping matters either (maybe a bra would have helped?).

  2. Andrea permalink
    September 23, 2013 12:48 pm

    What’s your take on Connie Britton’s dress. I can’t decide whether I’m thumbs up or thumbs down. Leaning towards thumbs up though.

    • la permalink*
      September 23, 2013 1:14 pm

      I wanted to love it because I love Connie Britton so much, but I’m not sure I did. The velvet keeps throwing me off.

  3. Andrea permalink
    September 23, 2013 12:49 pm

    Apologies for my poor attempts at punctuation in that last comment. Ugh, shameful.

  4. September 23, 2013 1:33 pm

    I love Lady Mary too.

  5. September 24, 2013 12:43 pm

    I liked Elisabeth Moss’ dress. I thought it was simple but not boring. Mindy Kaling was probably my favourite.

    • la permalink*
      September 24, 2013 1:22 pm

      I really liked hers as well. There’s a fine line between simple and boring. I thought Allyson Whatsherface from Girls was on the other side of that line – it was simple and lovely, but totally boring.

      • September 24, 2013 2:47 pm

        I loved Mindy Kaling’s dress to begin with. But then I read on Tom and Lorenzo that they had missed something on their first look. The detail on the dress is actually in the shape of chain links. I totally missed that too. And now I love it even more.


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