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Judging the Pretty at the Golden Globes 2013

January 14, 2013

Ally: It was not a good day for Toddler G to get sick or for L-A’s internet to crap out. However we’re professionals so we must push through. Here is our recap of what we loved and what gave us the sads.

Taylor Swift


Taylor Swift in Donna Karan Atelier. It wasn’t perfect, but it was different. If it took a boy bander breaking her heart for her to toss out the ruffles then I say it was worth it. While I loved the dress (particularly the back), I hated the hair. It made her look matronly, as if she told her hair stylist, “Make me look old-person-like”. More volume, I think.


Also, Tina Fey, maybe too soon?

Claire Danes

For Danes it was the make-up that was off. Also, I loved catching the massive bitch face she threw at someone who bumped into her while E! was capturing her walking the red carpet. I didn’t get that photo, but I did find one of her dress, which I thought was lovely.


It was a perfect choice for post-baby. The Versace wrap-around wasn’t too tight around the middle and the ruching around the waist/hips was very flattering (I’m not being sarcastic).

The raccoon eyes freaked me out though. I wasn’t sure why she went there. Was it to cover the “I’ve been up all night with baby” eye-bags? If yes, I take back my snark. I get it, Claire.


 Jennifer Lawrence

L-A and I both agreed on this one. Nice work with the red, awful business with your lady parts. Whatever meeting your girls were called to, they didn’t have time to properly get ready.


El Jeffe also noted that the waist made her look “all prego and shit”, which brought about an awkward silence since I AM PREGNANT and extremely hormonal about being all “prego and shit”.

 Zooey Deschanel

Speaking of red, let’s speak about Zooey Deschanel. Herein lays an example of why you all prefer L-A to me (one of many). Lady drives me  nuts with her unicorns and puppies bullshit. Fuck that hipster noise. Fuck it. CAN YOU EVER CHANGE YOUR LOOK EVER? It’s worse than Taylor Swift really.


Of course you have a little string of pearls BECAUSE YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS.




Lucy Liu

L-A really liked Lucy’s dress, and I have to agree. Someone on Access Hollywood came on last week to talk about how bold prints were the new black, and Access Hollywood knows everything. 


L-A adds (her internet is wonky so she messaged me about this) that this was a surprise favourite for her, as much as of a surprise as how she keeps watching her in Elementary (what show is this?).

 Sienna Miller

Sienna brought the eyerolls for both of us, which is weird for me but  as much a tradition for L-A as ham at Easter.


She was wearing Erdem, which..fine…The cut at her shoulders was not flattering at all (I’m not sure who looks good with boxy shoulders, actually…Gisele Bunchen maybe?). What made broughteth the vomits to my mouth was the wearing of both earrings in one ear. I think L-A would refer to this as trying to make fetch happen.


This is all we have for today due to a sick kid at home and L-A’s computer being busted. We’d love to hear your thoughts! Even if you think we’re wrong (sort of).

11 Comments leave one →
  1. January 14, 2013 10:44 am

    Agreed on Zooey Deschanel. A fucking greed. I thought Nicole Richie looked good!

    • la permalink*
      January 14, 2013 11:01 am

      I’m also on board with what Ally thought of Zooey. I love her, but girlfriend needs something new and less precious on the red carpet. And less, as someone else on Twitter said, Jessica McClintock prom style.

  2. January 14, 2013 11:09 am

    Tina Fey’s opening dress was great. Penelope looked amazing (especially the tan lines, reminded me that she isn’t self-conscious), and Naomi Watts looked super classy. What did you guys think about Kristen Bell’s gown? I think Adele pulled off a great look.
    Jessica Chastain looked a bit like she was wearing a shower curtain, not quite enough coverage there.

    • la permalink*
      January 14, 2013 11:14 am

      I didn’t love Tina’s opening dress until I saw a long shot of it. Amy’s red carpet tux was great. Jessica Chastain’s dress did nothing for me – or for her. It’s was so bland and shapeless. As for Kristen Bell, it was a bit much on top, but I’m going to give her a pass since I’m guessing there isn’t a lot available in formal maternity wear (I have no idea if this is true).

    • allygarbs permalink
      January 14, 2013 12:11 pm

      Ah! I forgot to mention Naomi Watts! I loved her dress. Extremely classy, I agree. What a beautiful colour too. Didn’t see Jessica (must have gone to bed by then). As for Kristen Bell, it would be tough to buy a maternity Golden Globes gown so I’ll give her a pass. I liked that it had some detail on the top, and she looked adorable as always (LOVE House of Lies!).

  3. January 14, 2013 12:19 pm

    i had issues with sienna’s ensemble and earring thing … until she said “you know, it’s not for everyone, but i love it!” … and isn’t that what fashion’s all about, loving what you’re wearing? a little after school special/very special episode of “blossom” moment there! ;)

    • allygarbs permalink
      January 14, 2013 12:30 pm

      I caught that line too, Michelle. I just didn’t buy it. Sienna is a trend setter (and usually I buy whatever she’s selling), but I just thought this was a little try-hard. However, I’m also over-tired, cranky, and trying to wean myself off chocolate. I might be being too harsh (and I love Blossom!).

  4. January 14, 2013 12:30 pm

    Kristen Bell looked like she just came off the ice in a figure skating competition (minus the baby belly). No pass on the maternity formal wear – I have a formal maternity dress in my closet that’s one million times better than that, and I live in HALIFAX not Hollywood. When preggo, simple and elegant is the name of the game. The top had too much going on and was too much in general, let alone while preggo. TOO MUCH. Claire was so lovely, and I thought Jessica Alba looked nice, too. Even though I don’t know why she was there…

    • allygarbs permalink
      January 14, 2013 12:31 pm

      I loved The Alba’s lipstick!

  5. HalifaxRetales permalink
    January 14, 2013 3:09 pm

    I really liked Julianne Moore’s dress it was pure class
    its easy for the twenty somethings to rock a dress
    but she is a fantastic @ 52

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