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Monday Not-so-much Shoe Porn

March 29, 2010

AllyG: We are in desperate need of shoes for shoe porn Monday. We cannot give you the porn if you do not give us the shoes. At least not the porn that is appropriate for this site. C’mon, my parents read this. So, I have a couple of friends lined up to showcase their wares, but they require my assistance and my digital camera. I’m on the case. In the meantime, send us your shoes. Monday’s are even more depressing without the ability to judge what others wear on their feet.

No shoes means filler, but I’m ok with this because I have other things to talk about. Like my new favourite replacement for SATC. Secret Diary of a Call Girl (in an effort to keep on the porn “theme”):

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Have you watched? It’s on Showtime in Canada, and I swear it is the best guilty pleasure. It tells the story of a high-end London call girl named Hannah who goes by the name Belle when she’s on-the-job. I think L-A would like it because it lends itself to some serious clothing commentary.

For example! I love the sheer, red blouse seen in the above promo poster, but I saw another photo of it and paired with the ill-fitting skirt (not to mention the horrible underwear lines) and crappy shoes (seriously, those shoes suck) I was very dismayed.

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Hmm. Maybe those shoes just suck paired with the nylons (I refuse to call them pantyhose…you know how I feel about the word panty). I cannot stand nylons. I’d much prefer putting on a pair of tights than a pair of nylons. Possibly because I get a run in them before I even leave my bedroom. That skirt looks so budget, like she got it at Stitches or something. From watching the show, I understand Hannah/Belle to be bringing in some serious cash. She can afford to hit up Topshop.

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Ah, now here we have some tights. Better, non? Love paired with the ankle boots. Also the hair. How I wish I could get this updo right. I think it requires a lot of teasing. Next time L-A and I are together drinking a box of wine perhaps I will have her try this on me.

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I’m sort of into the flower headband, though I am not sure it would translate into “real life”. This should be a challenge for L-A. Speaking of L-A and challenges, do not hate on her for not bringing you the Heathers challenge yet.  She has been sick for the last week and hasn’t left her couch. I contemplated making her wear a Heathers’ outfit while laying in tissue, but I thought that would be sort of mean. However! I did tell her she must step-up for another challenge. She has agreed to dye her hair pastel. I think she may have agreed to this to get out of her original challenge. Either way, I don’t care. I get to see pastel hair!

Anyways, back to the show. It’s great, cheesy, but great. I even got El Jeffe into it, I think he watches it less for the clothes than for the scenes without clothes. The funniest thing about him being a fan is that after Season Two, he told the girls in his office about the show, and suggested they watch it, stating, “It’s not soft-core porn or anything!”

Thing is, this season is way soft-coreish(I can only imagine the traffic those words are going to bring to our blog). The following video may not be safe for work (I can see you all frantically click-clicking with your morning java):

He was mortified after watching a few episodes with me on Friday night. I think the ladies at work may view him in an entirely different light.

Hope that got your morning off to a good start. Have a fantastic Monday, we’ll catch up on Wednesday. I think we all hope L-A will be better by then so that she can provide some decent snark. Let’s all send her some love and good gossip via her twitter account.

As always, I like to take advantage of L-A being “off the blog” in order to post some good country music. Here’s a new favourite from Miranda Lambert. L-A said I could post if I talked about the fashion in the video. Um, since it isn’t really a “video” so to speak…Miranda has pretty hair. There.

L-A: I am completely miserable. Which is why I’m going to let it slide that Ally has done a lame job of incorporating country music into the post. I’m only letting it slide because I feel like my sinuses are imploding and because she hasn’t been feeling well this week.  And seriously, don’t hate me for not following through on the challenge. My original plan had been to show up to a children’s birthday party dressed as Heather #1. Alas, I barely showered and made it out of the house to wish a happy birthday to one of my favourite munchkins.

I think I might have to talk to the husband about upping our cable package – I want to see this Secret Diary business (I wonder if the library has it on DVD). It helps that I like the lead actors from geeky shows that I enjoy (like, um, Doctor Who and Miss Marple…don’t judge! I don’t watch Idol or Survivor, so I’m allowed my weird TV).  I’m with Ally on that skirt though. Badly done, costume department, badly done. It’s one thing for your average girl to make that mistake, but there is no excuse for a costume department to make that mistake.  Three easy ways to avoid that (and I’m pretty sure we all know what they are): thongs, spanx, a better fitting skirt, or some combination of the three (I guess that’s actually four options…but I’ve had a lot of sudafed today, so counting isn’t exactly my strong suit).

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Lauren permalink
    March 29, 2010 4:12 pm

    Secret Diary of a Call Girl = loooove. Cannot wait for season three. My only complaint is that in typical British fashion, the seasons are way too short. Billie Piper is great… now that she’s not on Doctor Who, and isn’t singing this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1Aj_rVWb20

    Will attempt to do up some super-sad shoe porn for the internets.

    • allygarbs permalink*
      April 1, 2010 10:11 pm

      Was she good on Doctor Who? Should I watch Doctor Who? PLEASE DO SHOE PORN!

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