Oscars: The winners and losers…besides Ben Mulroney

AllyG: I was blown away by Carey Mulligan in Prada. She’s adorable, and smart…for she took Anna Wintour’s advice.

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Ben Mulroney called her dress a “glamerous mullet”. I call it a total win. She looked fantastic, age appropriate and accessorized perfectly. I sound like her mother. Speaking of mothers. L-A is going to get to Miley soon enough, but let me bring you this, Tish Cyrus:

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This is what happens when you have mothers and daughters competing with each other. It makes my heart so incredibly sad. I just picture Tish standing at the bar at the after party downing champagne staring longingly at Miley as she prances about in her bustier. We then see Tish slowly putting her glass down, looking at her watch, and realizing in horror that she must return home to Billy Ray Cyrus. Well. At least she has a pretty tan.

Big loser of the night? Vera.

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The Marquesa dress wore her, as they say. It was too much. Too much colour, too much…ruffles…or flaps…or whatever you would call that…stuff.

L-A: Vera Farmiga’s dress was a little Barbie doll for me. In fact, it sort of reminded me of Dream Date Barbie. And not in a good way.

Here are my winners:

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Thank you ladies for bringing the Dress Porn. There were others that I’d nominate: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kate Winslet (although, it doesn’t seem to be a dress that photographs well), and I even liked Sandra Bullock’s dress, even if it was a little bit ice dancer-esque.  Although, a note about Carey Mulligan, who I thought looked adorable, Lainey hated her shoes. I’m okay with them. What do you think?

AllyG: I actually loved the shoes. Thought they went perfectly. I’m sort of off on Lainey today anyway. As much as I love her writing (and I truly do), I sort of question her need to talk like a valley girl on television. Does she need to do that to fit in with Ben? I don’t get it. Perhaps I am being harsh. It’s early. The only thing craptastic about staying up late for the Oscars is my 5:30am wake up call with BabyG.

Also, how did I miss Rachel McAdam? I love her dress. Good call, L-A!

L-A: Now for the losers in my books (and sometimes, the losers are the most fun part of the evening):

SJP lost, but not because I thought she looked like a bag lady. It just looked like a fancy muumuu.

AllyG: Sadly, I agree. I couldn’t bring myself to bag on SJP. I really couldn’t. I tried so hard to like the dress. I headtilted all over the place to try and find some good. I couldn’t. I liked her bun thingy in her hair. Liked that lots…does that help? Sadly, SJP looked tired. Really tired. She does have infants at home. Maybe that’s why. I feel that, SJP. I feel that.

L-A: The back of her hair was great. The front looked like it needed a comb and just added to the overall tired look. Miley’s hair also needed a comb. Moving on…

Zoe Saldana is a pretty girl, but her pompom dress is trying to be too many things.

(AllyG: I totally loved this dress. Maybe this is where our different tastes come out. Sort of like our prom dresses. )

You’d think if you were pimping your kid out to Hollywood, you’d maybe tell her to stand up straight. Apparently, no. Instead, you’d encourage her to wear the lingerie look (I think Morgan Freeman’s face says, “If that were my granddaughter, I’d send her back to her room”).  She presented an award with Amanda Seyfried and I’m pretty sure Amanda wanted to bitchslap Cyrus with her talent and better posture. Edit: Now that I’ve seen what Mommy Cyrus wore to the ceremonies, I guess this is downright classy and age appropriate. How the hell do we stop the Cyrus family? Seriously.

I could go on, and maybe I will tomorrow, but it’s late and I need to get to work in the morning. Besides, the eulogies tributes to the best actors is just awkward and embarrassing to watch.