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If I had a million dollars…

August 25, 2009

AllyG: So, it’s fair to say I have some time on my hands. I’m off on vacation pending the arrival of BabyG. I could be heard a couple weeks ago eagerly exclaiming to my colleagues that I was going to have “so much fun!” just “reading” and “lounging on the deck”. This is sadly not the case. How do I not know myself by now? I am the most impatient person to ever exist on this planet. I stare at the clock waiting for BabyG to show some sign that he/she is going to make an appearance. It’s worse than waiting for the phone call after a first date. Y’all know what I’m talking about. Mmmhmm. Anyways, It’s not good. My husband came home from work yesterday to find me sitting on the bed, refolding baby clothes, while hurling accusations at the people on TLC’s Baby Story (i.e., “WHY DID THEY GET THEIR BABY?!) with tears running down my face.  Needless to say, I am now banned from watching this channel and have been encouraged to find “activities” and “tasks” for each day.

So, today I am finding ways to spend ridiculous amounts of imaginary money on ridiculously awesome clothes. Where to start? Balmain of course! Balmain is all over my September issues and I’ve completely fallen in love. Let me show you why!

Christophe Decarninis brilliant. He has a way of combining rock/chick attitude with Upper East Side glamour. To me, this is a perfect fusion. I hate using the word “edgy”, but it’s exactly this edge that has all the other fashion houses scrambling to do like Balmain does.

Fall Casual

From Balmain’s Fall 09 RTW a more subdued look. As much as I’d like to ignore the constant “BIG SHOULDERS ARE BACK” diatribe coming at me from all angles, I would be comfortable with rocking this jacket. The shoulders are just slightly overstated without making you look like you are a complete idiot and trying far too hard.


I spoke too soon…I think Beyonce is wearing Balmain above…eek.

Balmain shoulders

Ok. Whatever. It’s still not Dallas or Dynasty league shoulder pads. Interestingly enough, a colleague of mine tells me that I remind him of Sue Ellen from Dallas. He showed me this youtube video as a reference…

I took that as a compliment.


Carrie would totally wear this. Which is why I love it. It also reminds me of my prom dress. I had my dress made by an extremely talented tailor in HRM. Hit me up if you need a tailor and I’ll give you her digits. Anythehoo, I picked out the most FABULOUS blue sequined fabric and had her make a dress that was admittedly a little mature for me. It’s still hanging in my closet. Probably won’t add “Trying on my Prom Dress” as one of my “activities” for today since I am 2,000 pounds.

Also, that’s model Erin Wasson above. Did you know she has her own fashion line (Erin Wasson x RVCA)  that will be showing at NY Fashion Week this fall? True story. Alexander Wang’s bestie has been getting some good press coverage as well, perhaps we’ll have to do a post on this. Here’s a look at her Spring/Summer line:


Are you losing it? You should be losing it. Never mind the pairing of the dress with the boots. That’s for obnoxious twentysomethings. Us OVER 30s, need to class it up with Louboutins. Still, the dress is exquisite. It almost makes me as teary as Baby Story. I should wear this for BabyG’s baptism. They deserve to have Mommy wear something special -like.

I know and love L-A, so I know she is going to call out Balmain’s obsession with trends (beyond the big shoulders which I think walks the fine line), particularly the harem pants.


And I would agree with her. These pants are a huge fail. You should never, ever wear these pants. If you are wearing these pants. I do not like you.

Lastly, Balmain for the office!


So, so good. The perfect non-suit outfit.

Let’s hear what L-A has to say.


L-A: So, completely late today. No matter how organized you are, moving is killer (moved a friend, not myself). And then I overslept today (which I will blame on yesterday’s heavy lifting, whether that’s the reason or not).

I actually sort of hate Balmain and that jacket. You know what my very first thought was when I first saw the jacket? What fresh hell is this? It’s true. My inner Dorothy Parker woke up, choked on her olive, spit out her martini and threw the remainder of her drink at the computer. It didn’t help to know that the jacket sold out within 24 hours of being offered on net-a-porter. Sure Beyoncé looks cute, but we can’t be guaranteed that it’s all Beyoncé-esque women buying it. But the simple truth is, I can’t really deal with something that looks like a Sergeant Pepper reject and costs as much as a down payment on a house.


okay, okay. I know. The Balmain jacket is shorter and not made of satin. But seriously, it may as well be. They’ve bedazzled the shit out of that jacket. Oh, and in case the $12k the version in black costs is too steep for you, you can get it in denim:


And you can wear it with studded shoes and a top! Genius Balmain, genius! Excuse me while I go cry.

While Beyonce sports the black jacket, Rhianna, known for her questionable choices in wardrobes and other things (manicurist included. shit. check out those talons!), opted for the denim:


I know the 80s are making a comeback, hence the shoulders. And I know we’re all supposed to want to pay tribute to the fallen King of Pop, but this jacket with that hair is just too much 80s, too much inspiration from the styles of Thriller:


I shuddered a bit at those outfits and the thought of that video. Oh, did I mention I was never a Michael Jackson fan? Sorry if this makes you hate me and the blog, but I was never a fan. Not saying you shouldn’t have been and not saying I wanted the man dead, I just never liked his music or his public image. Don’t worry, it’s not just him. I don’t much care for the Beatles either. But let’s get back to Balmain. Balmain who also brought us such gems as this jacket:


I don’t even want to know what it would cost you to pick up a studded dinner jacket. Especially when I know you can probably do better if you do your own DIY version of it:


I still don’t particularly care for the jacket, but I could deal with it based on it’s DIY-ness. If you answered, “It’s Balmain. I paid a small fortune” for it, when I asked you where you dug that thing up, I’d kind of hate you and your taste in jackets. If you said you made it yourself on a Saturday evening, then I’d kind of love you for trying and for sticking it to the Balmain. In case you’re dying to bedazzle your own wardrobe, Dan Levy provides some useful how-to links in a recent DOOP.

Okay, so to end off on a slightly more positive note, for both that damn jacket and for Balmain, I’ll give you these two peace offerings:


From The Sartorialist. I don’t completely hate the jacket (well, the style of jacket) here. But this is on a woman in Milan and shot by the Sartorialist, so it’s really a one off thing and it’s doubtful many others could pull it off. We’d all look just a little bit better if we were in a photo on his site. (Best comment on that particular post? “Umm, Chrissie Hynde called: she wants her look back.” Ha! hahaha! Love it). And I do not hate this tweed cape by Balmain:

46818_in_l 46818_fr_l

It goes to show that it’s not the military look I hate. I just hate it when it’s fugly. Although, I’d like this much better if it were an actual coat, but I’m not going to split hairs on this one. Balmain is just lucky that I don’t hate on everything they do.

Okay kittens, I have to go deal with Tuesday. Have a good day!

p.s. Okay. Now I really want BabyG to be named Betsey. BetseyG. Y’all know you love it.

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