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Such is Mango

May 27, 2009

AllyG: I have this weird thing where I become obsessed with something and focus on nothing else for months on end. Take country music for example (seriously, I promise not to post anymore…for awhile), I started to enjoy country in the fall of ’07 by Winter ’08 I was trying to convince my husband to uproot everything with me and move to rural NS where we could ride horses and go to fire hall dances on the weekend.

True story.

So, it does not surprise me that my day typically starts out wondering what Carine Roitfeld is wearing. I no longer have to wonder what her daughter is wearing as I have learned she is the new face of Mango .  Have you seen Carine’s daughter, Julia?

She’s so beautiful. I bet she’s a bitch. I kid! I kid! (bitch).

Now, I did not know this “Mango” that they spoke of before coming across this article. I do know that I hate their website, particularly the music that blasted out of my speaker when I clicked on “fashion show”. Straight out of Zoolander. Anyways. Wikipedia tells me that they are a spanish clothing company based out of Barcelona. Apparently, Penelope Cruz and her sister Monica have designed a collection for the label. Does anyone in Hollywood NOT have a fashion line? My interest has peaked. Let’s take a look, shall we?

penelopecruz-monicadress

Hmm…um. Whatever.

They got paid for this? I could design this. For reals.

After reviewing these photos, I clearly needed guidance so I turned to Fashion-o-holic blogpost for help. The witty writers of this fab blog tell me that Pene and Moni teamed up with Mango to create a “vintage inspired” line that takes inspiration from their lives and from the ’50’s. You say wha? Am I missing something? How is this vintage?

penelope_monica_mango1

Vintage tart maybe. Which, in fairness, would be an AWESOME LINE that I would TOTALLY BUY.

I don’t understand Mango. Maybe Carine’s daughter can help me understand Mango. Before I hand off to L-A to make some sense of this post, can I share the BEST QUOTE EVER from Carine?

“I have good legs, so I prefer my skirt lengths and my high heels. It’s like my uniform. I never wear jeans. Jeans are for my assistants”

Oooh! Oooh! And this one!

“Do you know why? Because Cartier is the jewelry you give to your mistress. It is not the jewelry you buy for your wife. I heard that and it might be totally wrong, but it is this idea and I love Cartier because of that.”

L-A: For being the daughter of Carine, you’d think that Julia could do better than a gig with Mango. Because I am not seeing anything special about their clothes. It doesn’t have the cute, affordable trendiness that we get with H&M or Topshop. Possibly because Penelope just doesn’t have the caché of Kate Moss (at least she is a model and works in the fashion industry) or the real designers who churn stuff out for H&M.  I adore Penelope in Almodovar movies (pregnant nurse/ex-nun with AIDS in All About My Mother? Heartbreaking!), but I have found that she just doesn’t translate well into English. Quick! think of an English language movie starring Penelope Cruz.  You can’t think of one can you? Or if you can, you’re probably thinking about how much it stunk.   Not necessarily Penelope’s fault that the movie is bad, but she just doesn’t have the acting chops when using her second language.  And clearly, fashion design is not her first language.

Let’s see shall we. Here is Penelope at the Oscar’s in vintage Balmain:

penelopecruz_oscars-230209

Isn’t she lovely? Stunning? Si.  Now, here she is in her own “design”:

penelopeformango2

Apparently, this was inspired by Mexico. And granted, my experiences in Mexico are limited to an afternoon in Tijuana buying dishes, sorry for the poor painted donkeys, and stuck on a bus at the border, but this does not say “Mexico!” to me. What it does say is that $170usd is far too much to pay for this:

sonny_and_cher1

Yes, a Sonny & Cher costume that your parents thought was “rad” as they gave you a peace sign and started talking about how they remember eight-tracks.  (nb. these are not my parents. Then again, even if they were, I probably wouldn’t admit to it).  Great for a Halloween party, but not exactly high fashion.  But such is Penelope and such is Mango.

Oh, and I really have to leave y’all on this note. I don’t blame Penelope for the following awkward night-at-the-prom-esque photo. Apparently the Academy made everyone participate in odd Sears portrait studio poses:

cruz-penelope-oscar-2009-prom

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. May 27, 2009 11:06 am

    What about Vanilla Sky?? Am I the only person on the planet who liked that movie?

    While I’m sure that the original Abre Los Ojos is better (which I, gasp, have not seen), among other things, Penélope was totally charming as Sofia, and uttered one of the best movie lines, ever:

    “I think she’s the saddest girl to ever to hold a martini.”

    But I otherwise agree. About the bad English-speaking roles and the Mango. Mango is a strange store. Kind of like Stitches:I pass by it in a mall and wonder what’s inside, but am never tempted enough to go in. La Cruz should stick to rocking the red carpet (which she usually does, particularly in vintage).

    Are those Academy/Sears Portrait studio pics for real?

    Ladies, this is why I love you. What a great way to start a day…

  2. allygarbs permalink*
    May 27, 2009 11:45 am

    We love you, Jo! Especially when you guest blog!

  3. May 27, 2009 11:45 am

    I love Mango! It is pretty popular in Europe. Last years line was much better than this year. It was more boho and prettier than this years line. Although I do like a lot of pieces in the Summer lines, Breakwater and Double Image. I agree Penelope and Monica Cruz’s line isn’t a big stretch design wise. I think we can all agree it was Mango’s way of putting a face to the brand. I also agree their web site isn’t great. You find better items in stores. I found some great dresses and bags in Dublin although not being a size two the dresses had to be put back:(

    One another note, another of my fav designers is Karen Millen. Another Euro who I haven’t seen alot of coverage on until recently. Her clothes have been spotted on celebs like Eva Longoria. Check out the site http://www.karenmillen.com. Check out the denim dress and large fashion sling bag in tan. Yum!

  4. JWGj permalink
    May 27, 2009 11:15 pm

    It’s not only that Penelope doesn’t translate well into English as an actress–I find she’s only attractive in Spanish. So photos one and three there, she’s thinking in Spanish. The middle one–all English.
    And, Jo, I’m afraid you’re alone. Abre Los Ojos is a fantastic movie. If I’d seen Vanilla Sky first, I might have thought it was in the “meh” to “okay” range. Seen second, it really stinks.

  5. Krista permalink
    May 28, 2009 9:21 am

    The in-store Mango experience is quite enjoyable. I don’t recall seeing many signs of Penelope when I was in the Montreal store last summer, but I was totally focused on the clothes and good prices.

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