L-A: This is why I’ve been a completely sucky blogger this week:

Halifax Crafters winter market starts tomorrow!

I’m up to my ears in sock monkeys and stuffing and paintings of sock monkeys.  The poster is by the totally awesome Kat Miller.  The Olympic Centre will be stuffed full of awesome things to buy as pressies for yourself your friends and family. This isn’t your average craft fair. You’ll be able to buy fashionable things from Orphanage Clothing and Veronica MacIsaac.

And now I have to get back to those monkeys. Ally will give you a crappy pop video later. I’m sure you woke up thinking, “Yes! Today is the day I get the crappy pop video of the week!” and we’ll try not to disappoint. Just tune in again later in the day.

AllyG: Ok. I realize I am now a 31 year old mother whose uniform on mat leave is sweatpants and plastic headbands, but seriously?

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I’m all about bo-ho and teeny meeny items. Proof exists here:

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(Yes, I heart that outfit AND Kate Moss)

I just can’t get down with the current length of mini-dresses. The other day while driving down Barrington Street, I saw a woman who looked to be of the reasonable sort wearing the tiniest dress imaginable. Now, mind you, she was wearing tights and paired the dress with the most adorable pair of ankle boots, but it had me wondering, “how short is too short?” (do I sound like Carrie Bradshaw there? Hope so!). I’m used to seeing micro on TV…

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Serena, seen here in a LaRok Metal Fringe Halter Dress, continually crosses the line on Gossip Girl.

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Seriously, you are veering into girly bit territory here. Is this acceptable? Am I turning into my mother? Like, how is she going to get out of a car?

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Remember when Britney was friends with Paris? That, my friends, is what triggered the downward spiral. Look at them! Paris is proudly presenting Brit’s girly-bits. And look! Look! Britney is effing wearing leopard print! AND WHITE SHOES WITH LEOPARD PRINT!

Back to mini-dresses. Rouland Mouret is launching a line of mini-dresses just in time for the office Christmas party where you act like a tart and blame it on the sauce the next day. According to Elle UK, “The designer, famed for his now legendary Galaxy dress, has designed a range called ‘Rainbow’ under his RM by Roland Mouret label. The collection, which will only be available on Net-A-Porter, is made up of six mini-dresses and one mini-skirt, all in eye-popping colours.” http://www.elleuk.com provides a sneak peek…

Love the purple, hate the puffy dress in the middle, fell asleep looking at the dress on the right.

Ladies? Weigh in please!

L-A: So glad we are talking about this! I have seen the asses of too many ladies this fall! I’d like to add that sheer tights do not cut it when your skirt has hiked itself up to your waist.  I’m not saying short skirts are a bad thing, I’m just saying you need to cover your ass.

AllyG: I can’t blame the no-blogging the last couple of days on BabyG. Truth is, I’ve just been enjoying spending time with him and his nap-less streak hasn’t allowed for much writing. I promise you’ll see a post tomorrow! Till then!

Ally xo

L-A: In the meantime, some things to ponder: Carla Bruni was spotted wearing Stella McCartney for GapKids:

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It’s kind of Baby Balmain, n’est pas?

Also, does this make Carla the most stylish first lady (at least for this week)? Especially when you think about Michelle’s earrings for the state dinner. I did not care for the earrings, but maybe you’re in love with them. (Bee-tee-dubs: her dress for that dinner was perfection. I did a double take on the cover of the Globe that day).

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L-A: Sorry! There hasn’t been a post today! Last night I was frantically trying to make cards with monkeys on them/sew faces for monkeys.  While I can’t speak for Ally, she probably had BabyG to tend to. Those munchkins are a lot of work. I don’t know all you mommys do it. I really don’t. I can barely handle it when my cats occasionally puke on one of the two rugs we own.

Moving on to the rest of this lame post.

I follow the blog/twitter of a store in Hamilton called White Elephant Vintage.  They look like all kinds of awesome. Mostly because they sell vintage commemorative plates and Pyrex, which are possibly two of my favourite things (the commemorative plates are much to the chagrin of The Husband).  Anyway, we haven’t really made the decision to talk fashionable home decorations yet, BUT the girls at White Elephant are delving into the world of fashion which makes them relevant to us. They’ve just launched Ainslie Wood Co on Etsy and it is fantatic. Check out three of my favourites (all images are from their etsy site and therefore belong to them):

I would maim for the yellow coat. If I knew my sizing well enough, I’d have bought it already.  The next dress is totally swoon-worthy. Not kidding. I hope Eden owns a fainting couch, because she will be in love:

That’s just a sampling of their vintage awesome. So go check it out. Report back if you buy something pretty.

I can guarantee you that the next time I visit my in-laws, I am taking a wee road trip to Hamilton to stock up on Pyrex. Not kidding.

AllyG: Delightful guest post! Today we’ll be hearing from Jo, who will be continuing the Monday shoe porn tradition. Bonus points to Jo for including her feet in the shots. Dude, did you get a pedi for this exercise? Loves it! L-A is working feverishly prepping for a craft show. Did you know that L-A was crafty? She totes is. So, point being, she may not be around as much this week. That means more lame posts from moi and actual well-thought-out posts from our guest bloggers. On to Jo!

Jo: Hooray! Let’s hear it for shoe porn Mondays! I am totally going to go ahead and take credit for that term, by the way. I was so in love with Eden’s first post … then L-A’s … then Ally’s. Sigh. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! Someone’s entire shoe collection, right there in front of me! It’s a little bit like looking inside someone’s soul, non?

Well, time for me to bare all to the masses. NO, stop that. I am only going to show you my shoes, silly. The entire process was functional (cleaning up!), therapeutic, inspiring AND revealing. A big shout out to la step-daughter for the excellent photography. You call it making a poor child take pictures of all my shoes, I call it “multi-media art project.” But like Eden, I realize that many of my precious babies are in need of some serious TLC. I have also discovered the following: a) I need to vacuum my floors b) I need more shoe storage (hello shoe book shelf!) c)  I should apparently buys stocks in John David Shoes and d) we all have very photogenic flooring! My feet look awkward in flats, but whatevs …

I am clocking in at a modest 41 pairs. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but that seems pretty reasonable? Let’s dive in, shall we?

Here are what I like to call the “Showstoppers” :

Nina New York (John David Shoes)

Michael Kors (John David Shoes)

Madden Girl (DSW)

Total strangers have stopped me on the street to tell me how much they love these shoes. I kid you not.

(AllyG: When I see these shoes I stop breathing. Literally. I’m friends with Jo mostly because she owns these shoes. It’s like being hot by association!)

Not Rated (RIP Fanatic Footwear … Halifax misses you!)

Tahari (TJ Maxx)

The most recent addition to the collection, not even worn yet! Someone invite me to a fancy party STAT!

Nine West (Kick Ass Shoes)

Aaahhh. Mybeloved Westies. The award-winners in my closet, they go with everything. My FAVOURITES, my stand-bys. Hot, hot, hot and look impossible to walk in, but I could carry Ally around all day - AND BabyG - wearing these babies. While tap dancing. I kid you not. Please note the subtle platform under the toe – this is one of my new shoe shopping rules – platform toe is rule #1.

Kenneth Cole Reaction (Winners)

Oldies, but goodies.

Merona (Target)

Naughty Monkey (Winners)

(AllyG: Oh my eff those shoes could be my new boyfriend. I would cuddle and hold them so very close while listening to Kenny G)

John Fluevog (Kick Ass Shoes)

I’ll allow you a moment to catch your breath … Moving on! “Practical Shoes.” And by practical, I mean easy to match, not easy to walk in.   They are nice, but blend in with their surroundings.

Aerosoles (John David Shoes)

Franco Sarto (Winners)

Aldo

Arturo Chiang (John David Shoes)

These are actually very easy to walk in. Note adorable croc motif. Perfect black shoe contender.

BCBG Max Azria (BCBG)

These are borderline showstoppers, but given their beige nature and ability to go with everything, here they lie. They are also ridiculously comfortable.

Jessica Simpson (John David Shoes)

Great style, great price, BUT …  every time I wear these, I want to CUT MY OWN FEET OFF. They are gorgeous, but I had to (almost) stop wearing them. Tear…

So when I want to cut my own feet off, what’s a girl to wear? Why “Flats,” of course! Being a commuter girl, I ALWAYS carry a cute pair of flats or flip flops (yes!) in my gigantic bag wherever I go, so when I’m dashing off to a meeting or walking home from the bus, I can actually walk, and not look I am being tortured with every painfully awkward step.

Blowfish (Little Burgundy)

Joe Fresh (Superstore)

Nothing like slipping an adorable pair of flats in with the groceries!

Joe Fresh (Superstore)

Joe Fresh (Superstore)

Nine West (gift from a friend…thanks Tiny T!)

But it’s winter now, so let’s look at some “Boots … and Booties! And since I am currently loving my grey tights, I will model them with everything!:

Moda Spana (John David Shoes)

(AllyG: I am in tears. I am laughing so hard. Ok, in part because I am on glass two of the beaujolais, but mostly because you took the time to PUT ON TIGHTS for this shot. I love you so, so much, Jo)

Arturo Chiang (John David Shoes)

(AllyG: Wait…did you change your tights? TOO MUCH. I LOVE THIS!)

Biviel (Fanatic Footwear)

Aldo

Joe Fresh (Superstore)

Michael Kors (John David Shoes)

I know … SHUT UP!

Nine West (Kick Ass Shoes)

I am a bit over the extreme pointy toe, but these are still a specimen to behold. I have had to replace the lifts five million times. Annoying.

Rockport (Winsbys)

To help me run around doing errands while cute, I have a small collection of what I like to call “Saturday Shoes”…

Privo (Soft Mocs)

I have … several … pairs of flip flops, which I love. I shall represent the entire lot of them with my faves by Gravis.

Clarks (Winsbys)

Converse (random shop on Queen St. West in Toronto)

Converse (so old, I can’t remember where they come from)

Next, “Shoes with a Purpose!”

Nike + (The Running Room)

I run, so these are my running shoes!

Dakota (Mark’s Work Warehouse)

I need safety shoes for work sometimes. Naturally, I chose these steel-toed mary-janes.

Joe Fresh (Superstore)

I live in Halifax, love to garden and in particular, love gardening in the rain!

Merrell (Winners)

For backcountry camping trips and hikes.

Doc Martens (unknown)

I love these and will NEVER get rid of them. Mock me.

Capezio (e-bay)

Yes, tap shoes! I don’t wear these much anymore, but I used to be a dancer. Not to worry, they are only worn while tap dancing.

And I will close with the mother of all shoes, the crown jewel in many a collection, “les Wedding Shoes”:

Arturo Chiang (John David Shoes)

which I have worn on more than one occasion (can you say excellent party shoes??), but really, they were best on that day nearly three years ago:

Now that’s a perfect ending to this shoe fairytale…

Favourites? Any in need of chucking? Do tell…

L-A: I’d maim for at least half of your shoes. Not the booties though, but you already know how I feel about booties in general. More importantly, what size are your feet? I need to know before I try to break into your house and steal a couple of pairs. (kidding) (maybe I’m kidding). (Also, don’t forget that if you add pics of your shoes to our flickr group, you’ll get to see your shoes on the blog. Your shoes will be (almost) famous! All you have to do is request membership, I approve it and then you add pics with abandon)

L-A: Can we talk about James Franco on General Hospital?

Yep. That’s my favourite thing of the week. He plays a mysterious artist named Franco. Yes!  The very idea of James Franco + Sonny Corinthos (no idea what the actors name is) almost makes me wish I 18 again and watching this with the girls in the Tully TV lounge.  Actually, it almost makes me wish I could sit at home in my jammies with bon bons and watch James Franco on a soap opera right now. Why is he even on it? I have no idea. I still love it.  Almost fashion related as the character Maxie (I used to watch when the character was under 10) is a “fashion expert”.  Not sure what kind of expert, maybe in all things fashion. (Just for this ridculosity, I might have to make James Franco one of the pretend boyfriends).

Not a favourite, and will probably get it’s own ranty post later: Peepshow Girly Boutique is closing!!

Whaaat? I’m hoping it was an error – the ShopTalk story is gone…so maybe it was a cruel November Fool’s joke?  If it’s true, I’ll be annoyed. Why?  Because like I’ve said a million times before, we need more shopping downtown. I want to buy clothes downtown, not at the mall (I especially want to avoid the mall as we hit the Christmas season). Maybe this weekend we can all go out and buy something pretty to wear from a downtown/non-mall store. Just to let those stores know they are awesome. It’ll be like giving the store owners a hug, but without the weirdness/creepiness of hugging a stranger.

Some suggestions:

Clothing: Love, Me, Sweet Pea, Pretty Things, Off the Hanger, Foreign Affair, Wildflower

Shoes: John David, Comfort Zone, Kick Ass Shoes, Winsby’s

I’m sure I’m forgetting someone, so use the comment space to tell me who you want to shop from. Oooh, actually, this is a good time to plug The Coast’s Shop Local Contest. It is awesome. I won $500 in gift certificates last year.  And if you’re not from Halifax, you should still go shop local this weekend. Maybe our American friends can hit up non-box stores for Black Friday.

Also – we need your shoes for Monday’s shoe porn! go join our flickr group and upload shoes. You’ll get to see your shoes on the internet and it will be awesome!

AllyG:

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Hi. I love you. I love you all lots. You know what I love more? Beaujolais Nouveau.

Sorry, readers, mommy had a long, long day. Included an incident with me driving around with my fabulous Coach wallet on top of the car. I kid you effing not. I took the kid Christmas shopping and he had a massive shit parade. Literally. Then, when we were being placed in our car seat to pick El Jeffe up from work, we decided a screaming fit was entirely necessary. I was trying desperately to shove “binky” aka his pacifier in his mouthto no avail. I finally gave up and decided we would have to drive with him screaming all the way to EJ’s work. A block later I have a car behind me honking madly and a woman who I believe at the time to be out-of-her-ever-loving-mind waving madly at me. She motions for me to roll down the window. Once I do, she shakes her head, looks at me like I am a COMPLETE IDIOT and says, “you’re PURSE is on top of your CAR”. First off, bitch, it’s my fabulous wallet not a purse! Secondly (is that even a word? I don’t even care), you try remembering where you put your wallet when you have a screaming child to fasten into a car. It was sweet of her nevertheless.

Sooooooo…I realize this is not my mommy blog. Quick plug! But, my point is that I am taking the night off to drink a massive glass/bowl of Beaujolais Nouveau with El Jeffe and watch an Ep of Six Feet Under. BabyG has just gone down for the night (aka he will be up in ten minutes crying and will finally go down after a few more attempts) and I feel like I am in desperate need of recharging. I realize I have written nothing fashion related but please know I have much to say and will write tons this weekend. Trust. I promise to leave Ben Mulroney out of it.

Don’t worry, I would never forget the crappy video of the week. This one is from some kid named Justin Bieber. I don’t get it. Seriously. And that’s saying something. What’s Usher doing in this video?

Let’s hope it is only “One Time” that you make a video. Ha! I haven’t even started drinking yet!

Gawd, I seriously hope L-A doesn’t kick me off the blog for this ridiculous excuse for a post. I have literally not talked about fashion AT ALL. Hmm, would it help if I posted a pic of my Coach wallet? And it’s totes real too! I got it from one of my good friends on my 30th b-day!

AllyG: Lately, I’ve been drawn to Etalk. This will hurt L-A because as her friend, I should actually be boycotting all things Ben Mulroney (she finds him tres annoying…for some reason, he doesn’t bother me, then again I listen to artists called Ke$ha). I need to assure her that I’m actually in it for Tanya Kim. Dudes, Tanya looks good. So good, that I had to do some intense Internet research to determine her stylist (i.e. Googling “Tanya Kim” Stylist). I found out that it was Jessa Bissett (great name!) who works out of  Toronto for JudyInc.  She also dresses Seamus O’Regan (who seriously always looks good. Gents, take note).

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Don’t you love the hanky? Seamus loves the hanky. More men should love the hanky.

Back to TK (ok, Brian is annoying when he calls her that) I am so enamoured by her outfits each evening. She has a great “figure” as my mother would say, so she can pull off pretty much anything, but Jessa seems to have her in the latest styles without making her look to trendy (See that Cheryl Hickey?). Let’s review:

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That vest is killer. We already know I’m a huge fan of white tanks with anything. Apparently she is holding a 442 McAdam Flop Clutch. I quite like! Overall, good look. Casual, but dressy in a Canadian-entertainment-personality way.

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Loooooove the dress she wore to the 2008 Much Music Video Awards. I would love a chunky necklace that draped like that. No idea who made it. Perhaps Jessa can help?

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Now this is the cocktail dress I need for the holiday season! She even makes Ben look good!

Can you get over Ben to admire Tanya, L-A? Or is she tainted by association? Also, I’m concerned you may not “get” the title without understanding where it came from. Allow me to assist you!

Ah, and it ain’t even Friday.

L-A: This is how I feel about Ben Mulroney:

That’s right. I cannot deal. I don’t know the first thing about this Tanya girl because I cannot deal with her co-host. I don’t know if she likes him, but the look on her face in this photo says no:

BUT. Based on the pics the Ally posted, the girl knows how to dress. Fantastic work by her stylist.  And the coat she’s wearing in my editorialized photo? As The Zoe would say, “I. Die.”  I just might maim for a coat like that. Okay, I probably wouldn’t. But I would want to be your friend if you were wearing it, just so I could hang out with you and your fab style. (Like the girl I saw at work with a fantastic purple cloche style hat: I wanted to be her friend because her hat is so cute).

That’s all I have to say about that. I feel like I’m phoning it in on this one, but what can I do? I don’t know this Tanya Kim at all. I hate Ben Mulroney so much that I won’t even watch their show for research purposes (and I have watched all of Ally’s videos, so that shows you what I’m willing to do for this blog. I even watched the Ke$ha video).

oh, p.s. Love the hanky/pocket square on that guy. Maybe that should be it’s own post. I wonder if we can get Clinton Kelly to guest blog on that one – it’s not like his show has been on lately (what the eff, TLC?? Did they cancel it? Move it to another night? what?)

(I hope I didn’t get too Perez Hiltony on you with my MS Paint art…but I was using MS Paint before Perez was an annoyance to celebs. I just wasn’t blogging with it).

AllyG: Ah, Christmas, the lights, the mistletoe, the hooch. It’s my favourite time of year! Especially this year after I’ve lost most of the baby weight (I won’t be wearing any belly shirts for awhile, but I’m not expecting those to come back into style, and at age 31 I AM too old for that), I’m looking forward to dressing up in something other than jeans and a t-shirt (that’s a good day).

I’m loving the beaded, sparkly dresses this season and thought I would bedazzle this post if you will with some holiday cocktail dress brilliance. Indulge me, will you?

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This isn’t crazy sparkly, however it does have the bedazzled magic on the removable belt (how much do you want to bet L-A would be whipping that belt off while I would be pulling out my bedazzler to implement even more junk jewelled fun!). This dress is from BCBG Max Azria. I also love this number from BCBG…

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Perhaps a little much for my holiday party circuit, but wouldn’t that shut up all the bitches who whispered that I was enjoying pregnancy just a little too much while watching me stuff yet another donut in my mouth? Now, mind you, it also looks like a bridesmaid dress for a quickie marriage in Vegas…but that’s sort of my look anyhow.

I also think this is exceptional in a “completely out there” type of way.

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Style.com refers to it as “Giambattista Valli’s love letter to the cocktail dress”. They write some good on that site. I just refer to it as “Pretty”.

I’m all over this sequined skirt. I got a fab deep purple sleeveless blouse at Winners the other day that would look perfect with this Adam Sequin wrap skirt.

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For L-A, I would suggest the Marc Jacobs version of the sequined skirt. She loves MJ. Bitch parades that Marc Jacobs purse around me every chance she gets. Whatevs, she ain’t got no Betsey Johnson diaper bag, DOES SHE ?

note to Betsey: Sorry for using your lovely purse as a diaper bag. I’m hoping you won’t hate.

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I sort of feel like she could salsa in this as well…non?

L-A: It’s that time of year again! (I write that knowing that one of my journo profs dies a little every time the words are strung together).  Christmas party time! A reason to get tipsy at work (parties….not just because it’s Tuesday and there’s scotch in your desk drawer)? Yes please. A reason to buy a new dress and get your hair did? I repeat: Yes please. But just like hanging up the lights (I usually get half way around the window and say ’shag it, I’m getting a drink’), christmas baking, and visiting with extended family: finding a great party dress can be a stressful pain in the arse.  You should have seen me the year I had a Christmas wedding to go to – I tried on just about everything in my size at Winner’s and any other store that might carry a cocktail dress at a semi-reasonable price.

A friend from high school recently asked me if I knew where you could find a dress that was about knee length (because let’s be honest, some of the dresses out there now are more like a cute top rather than a dress) and sleeveless, but without spaghetti straps.  A surprisingly tall order (see dresses, worn as tops). The first place I thought of was Pretty Things here in Halifax. Most of the dresses go to the knee (I am ridiculously self-conscious about my knees…ever since grade nine when someone told me I had funny knees. He had no idea he was giving me a life long complex!) and the owner knows that not every woman out there is wee and svelte, so she carries styles for different shapes and sizes.  Here are two of the dresses I like:

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Pretty, n’est pas? Classy enough for your work party, cute enough for your friend’s NYE fancy dress rager. You probably still need your Spanx, but that’s okay – the damn undergarments cost so much that you may as well get as much use out of them as possible.

A site I found yesterday could prove to be the holy grail of online dress shopping : Frocktastic. They have EVERYTHING. Not kidding. They have collected dresses from just about every designer and categorized them by colour, style or price.  You can get everything from this pretty princess of a Betsey Johnson dress (I was looking for a purple dress)…

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…to a dress by a hot Canadian designer, like Valérie Dumain…

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…or Eve Gravel:

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Good luck on your party dress quest! Please don’t buy that last skirt that Ally posted. It looks like something a salsa dancer puked up.

AllyG: So! A couple of my friends (yes! I have TWO) inquired today about coloured tights. I’m glad they asked, there are certainly many examples of coloured tights gone wrong thanks to American Apparel’s easy access (don’t get me wrong, I love AA’s tights, but people should have to take a course before they leave the store with hot pink tights…I should know…that was one horribly unfashionable Wednesday in 2007).

It was a good day to ask this question, as Canada.com also took on the task of embarking coloured tights etiquette. The most important point they raise in the article is why focus soley on colour? What about pattern? Patterned tights are SO HOT RIGHT NOW. Speaking of Zoolander, remember this scene?

Nothing to do with patterned tights, but it’s awesome. Sorry, back to Canada.com. They correctly note that, “Bold fashion followers can team bright or patterned tights with a fun, flirty dress for a playful look, as shown here. Or go more monochrome for an equally eye-catching look with black, patterned hose and a black, patterned dress. The red shoes add a splash of colour.” Agree. My friend M wondered whether she should have paired her black dress and boots with grey tights. I love mixing grey in with black. It breaks up the look and I think it makes you look taller. If you do want to go all black, then I would point to Canada.com’s advice to work some pattern into your black tights and pull out a bright pair of shoes.

I was looking for some “best of” coloured and patterned tights and saw that Vogue had done a feature on this for a recent accessories file. Being lazy, I decided to share! You can go to the link to read the full article.

I decided to actually do some work and find some tights I enjoy. My friend S asked about what to wear with an off-white skirt. I know she has the same pair of BCBG ankle boots as I do, which I thought would be perfectly paired with the skirt and these tights from Forever21.

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I also love this look from Urban Outfitters. It’s much more casual, but great for the weekend or casual Friday.

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For ordering info you can go here…

As for coloured tights, this is a great look. It’s bold, without being too young and in your face. You can still wear to the office.

Those red/wine coloured tights are from Emilio Cavallini (90 Denier Alligator Tights) you can also order online thanks to polyvore.com

I feel as though many people in their thirties are terrified of coloured/patterned tights because they equate them with this crap:

That’s just disgusting. Seriously. That’s not fashion, that’s insanity. You wear those and you are looking for attention in all the wrong places.

Since patterned tights are so popular for F/W 2009, you should be able to find them easily in Halifax. I’ve seen many different brands at Winners for great prices (specifically Hue)

Hope this helps, ladies. We’re totally behind fab tights. Mostly because Blair wears them.

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Leave it to Serena to be slutty. Again. Wtf is she wearing? Again?

L-A: Would you believe that I’ve never actually seen Zoolander? (the sound you hear just now is that of Ally’s heart breaking).

Serena’s outfit is like the late-2000s/NYC version of this:

For reals. And that was 1995. Let’s bring back one decade at a time folks. Everyone is killing themselves over the 1980s comeback right now, so let’s just get through that before we move on to the 1990s. Besides, we’d need to go through grunge first before we can start bringing back Clueless.

Anythehow, coloured tights. Love them. I was getting ready for work the other morning and realized I was head to toe in black. Which is not the norm for me. So I broke it up with a pair of Betsey Johnson purple tights (found at Marshall’s on sale) and poof! My outfit was a million times (or at least five times) more interesting.  Or my grey plaid dress (kind of Mad Men Joan-esque) that has a very small hint of purple in the plaid. You barely notice the purple, but it works oh so well when I throw the purple tights on.  Hmmm…I possibly only ever wear purple tights. I think that’s because I was broke for so long that I couldn’t afford to buy another pair of coloured tights. Whatever the reason, I’m drawn to purple tights (and slightly heartbroken over the hitch in my favourite pair).

Moving on to the patterned tights. Mostly love. I love them in theory. However, I fear trying these on myself because I’m not sure they’d look so hot stretched over my gams. I’ve got big legs. It’s a fact of life. I’m sure going to the gym might help a little, but to tell the truth, I was born with thick legs, so it’s not like they’re going anywhere – they’d just get less flabby.  So the idea of me in patterned tights is a bit scary.

But if you think you can do the patterned tight and not look like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag (this is one of my mom’s sayings. I kid you not), then go for it! Wear something a little simpler – your outfit doesn’t need to be competing with your tights. Let your tights do the talking. Like, cute solid coloured skirt or dress and AWESOME patterned tights.   If you’re at all crafty, you could try to DIY:

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Although, that is not a project for amateurs. Aside from wanting to avoid a run in your tights while you embellish, you’d want to be careful that you don’t end up bedazzling the shit out of your tights (p.s. if you do try this project – please share pics with us!).

Some interesting patterned tights are the ones handmade by Sans Soucie of Montreal. I’ve yet to try them (see the part where I was too broke to buy tights, let alone fancy ones), but I’ve been tempted (Love, Me carries them). They’re coloured and patterned and quite frankly, look like they’d be real pretty.

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But now it’s my turn to ask for some tights advice from you:

1. I have a navy pencil skirt: what colour tights (and colour top) do you wear with that?

2. I have mustard coloured tights that I kind of love, but am not sure what to wear them with. Suggestions?

AllyG: I’m totally going to use BabyG as an excuse to why I didn’t take snaps of all my shoes. I’m just going to give you the highlights. We’ve had lots of visitors the past few weeks which has resulted in my shoe collection being tossed all over the house. For reals, I found a pair in the bathroom. Shoe porn seems popular with the masses! And by the masses, I mean the 15 regular readers we have (we totes love you)! We’ve actually had requests from readers, and guest bloggers, to feature their collections. We’re totally down with that! Keep Monday shoe porn coming!

So, I am profiling my fave footwear from my closet. Let’s begin!

These are my wine coloured BCBG ankle boots. Please take careful note of the fabulous ribbon tie at the front. I love these so, so much. I purchased them at John David in 2008 pre-pregnancy. I attempted to wear them month five of pregnancy before I realized that my life was over (I mean that in the best way possible). I have never, ever, been in so much pain. My feet were so swollen. I thought I was going to teeter over on my face in the middle of a conversation with a Hali-famous politician. I looked great though. Truly.

I bought these mint green Biviel’s at the Fantatical Footwear going-out-of-business sale. That was a seriously sad day for shoe lovers. The owner of that boutique is incredible. She remembered everybody that walked through the door and what they purchased. I sent my mom there one day and mom still remembers the experience of being treated like she was a Queen. It’s wear she bought her shoes for my wedding. These shoes are very comfy, wider heel so you can actually walk from your office to meetings (as opposed to marching to the cab out front…which I did often whilst wearing stillettos…what?). I can’t find the Biviel website. To be honest, I didn’t try too hard. I’m on borrowed time here.

Horrible photo quality. I know L-A is going to be all over my ass for the crappy photo job. She likes our blog to look all “presentable” like. Anyway, the above two flats are Shellys…my beloved Shellys. I also bought these at John David, but they no longer sell them there. Learning this news was a tough day. Almost as bad as the day we all learned that Britney was being placed under a 5150 hold. Devastating.

These, my friends, are Sacha London’s. I adore this line of shoes. I have three pairs, however I could only find two for my photo session (need I mention how weirded out Jeff was by my mad-tear around the house with our digital camera taking snaps of my “stank shoes”, as he called them?”). I like to wear these with my white pantsuit. Yes, of course I own a white pantsuit. Why don’t you?

These are my all-time favourite shoes. I would wine and dine these shoes. I would gently caress these shoes while listening to Kenny G in the background (a former roomate used to have Kenny G playing while she made sexy time with her boyfriend. Our room was seperated by a very thin wood panel. Needless to say, I still associate Kenny G with sexy time…and not in a good way).

L-A was recently chatting about the perfect pair of black shoes. These are it for me. Franco Sarto is my go-to shoe (I own two pairs of Sarto boots, one in black, one in brown…exact same boot). They’re just made very, very well and are extremely comfortable. I love the round toe on this shoe. These are snazzy when paired with my skinny jeans. Not sure what they would look like with skinny jean “leggings” or “jeggings”…perhaps L-A will buy a pair for me at Christmas and we’ll all find out!!

Ooh! These are my Michael Kors! They are exceptionally hot. Pretty comfy too. Not great for walking on grass as I learned at one wedding recently. Definitly my favourite summer shoe.

These were my wedding shoes. I know…awwwwww. Love the beading. I did many an “ass drop” on the dance floor while wearing these babies. Not sure what an ass drop is?

[L-A: Ally originally had a picture of herself doing an ass drop and it was EPIC. Like, spit your drink out onto the computer laughing epic.  She changed her mind about having the picture of herself on the blog. So to demonstrate the ass drop, I present Julia Stiles dancing to "Hypnotize"...]

I once did eight ass-drops in a row to Usher’s, “Yeah” . The crowd loved it. LOVED it.

Really bad photo, I know. These are my Steve Madden’s mary janes. Low-heel, which makes them great for everyday wear.

Lastly, these are my Chinese Laundry shoes. Adorable, non? Don’t you just love the wee blue bow on the back? Sigh. Love ‘em.

That’s all for me. Perhaps when I find more I will snap and upload. Hopefully this will hold you over?

L-A: I’m not actually a tyrant about the blog or the photos we take. Really I’m not. Okay, maybe a tiny bit. It comes with the Anna Wintour-esque hair cut.  But y’all saw the mess that was my AFW pics, so I really can’t complain.  Anyway whatevs, let’s talk about Ally and her shoes:

I think taking photos of your all your shoes freaks out husbands/partners/roommates.  I know the husband started to get his shell shocked look when he came into the living room and found ten boxes of shoes in the middle of the room.  I think he begrudgingly lives with my collection. In fact, until I called it a collection, he started talking about me needing to get rid of shoes before I could buy more.

I do love the wee blue bow on that last pair. I don’t even mind that they have an animal print (I generally dislike the animal print. That fact may cause Eden to have a heart attack).  And I kind of adore the BCBG booties.  Nice work on finding the Franco Sartos as your LBS.  Shinier than what I’m looking for in myself, but I do like them.

When Ally mentioned wedding shoes, it made me realize that I must have a box of shoes somewhere that I haven’t opened, because I didn’t take a picture of my wedding shoes last week (I moved last winter – but don’t judge. It’s not like I wear my wedding shoes everyday so they’re doing okay in that box in the closet). But I do have a picture of them because I’m the sort of girl who has a picture of her shoes taken at her wedding.  What? Some people like wedding pictures of their flowers or their rings, I like pictures of my shoes. And my photographer was smart enough to know that.

Best “man” Helen was wearing my bro’s sneakers (about five sizes too big. Dude has big feet. Runs in the family I guess, since I’m a size 10) because it was raining out and she didn’t want to ruin her shoes.

And now time to announce how you can participate in shoe porn Mondays! We have a Flickr group for your shoes. You can add pics to the group and then on Mondays we’ll pick a collection at random and put them on the blog. Yay! The group is “by invite only” because I fear using the words “shoe porn” in a flickr group could bring an unsavory element to the group (there are some strange groups out there).  But y’all are welcome to join (I think you can request to join) and share your shoe collections. We’re looking forward to seeing them.

Edited by AllyG: I would also like to reassure our readers that L-A is only like Anna Wintour when it comes to fabulous hair. She simply likes the blog to look professional. If it was up to me some days, I would be scanning my crayon drawn photos of pretty dresses and pretty shoes. Thank the heavens for our L-A.